Monday, October 31, 2005

Sick of Myself

I've got a winning combination of emotions today - self-loathing, disgusted, bored and horny. Don't you love when that happens? I don't want to be here, I don't want to be anywhere. I just have to wait for it to pass and continue to be bland and predictable. I don't like it when I'm like this and I don't blame others for getting fed up with me. But I figured that at least here on this blog, I'm somewhere that I shouldn't have to pretend. Still, I wish I had something better to say! I think I'll just read your blogs instead.

Halloween Song of the Day

I can see why my oldest brother introduced me to Ministry by loaning me "12 Inch Singles" first. It's more synth-poppy and a bit easier on the ears than their later stuff, and has the angsty lyrics that I so enjoyed. Still a favorite from my small collection of industrial music.

Everyday is Halloween - Ministry

well I live with snakes and lizards
and other things that go bump in the night
cos to me everyday is Halloween
I have given up hiding and started to fight
I have started to fight

well any time, any place, anywhere that I go
all the people seem to stop and stare
they say 'why are you dressed like it's halloween?
you look so absurd, you look so obscene'

o, why can't I live a life for me?
why should I take the abuse that's served?
why can't they see they're just like me
it's the same, it's the same in the whole wide world

well I let their teeny minds think
that they're dealing with someone who is over the brink
and I dress this way just to keep them at bay
cos halloween is everyday
it's everyday

o, why can't I live a life for me?
why should I take the abuse that's served?
why can't they see they're just like me
it's the same, it's the same in the whole wide world

o, why can't I live a life for me?
why should I take the abuse that's served?
why can't they see they're just like me
i'm not the one that's so absurd

why hide it?
why fight it?
hurt feelings
best to stop feeling hurt
from denials, reprisals
it's the same it's the same in the whole wide world

Friday, October 28, 2005

Bad radio

So, with the TV on the fizzle and most of our CDs packed, and due to sheer laziness, we've been listening to a lot of poop, err pop radio lately. I have my guilty pleasures, but damn, there's a lot of shit music out there.

- I could live without ever hearing that whiney-ass Frankie J again.
- Usher just pisses me off. Shut up.
- What's up with the new Black Eyed Peas song? I had to look up the lyrics and yes, she really is saying "lovely lady lumps" ummm, is that supposed to be the new catch phrase? Because all I can picture is your disease-ridden naughty parts.
- Neither of us can listen to "Gold Digger" by Kanye West without getting up and shaking our booties. In the privacy of our home, of course.
- Although she seems to be hangin with more homies lately, it appears that Mariah Carey has lost her soul. He corrected me by saying that she never really seemed to have one, and is more of an emotionless puppet.
- The "rock" songs they play are few and far between, and then it's just wussy bullshit like Nickelback and whatever the fuck all the other ones are called.
- I don't know why, but I like Ciara. She's freaky and I just find her funny for some reason. But I'd rather watch her videos to see her crazy dance moves.

I'm sure I'll add more to this list. What radio songs piss you off lately?

Flashback Friday

I wrote this last night. Sorry I don't yet have something more cheerful or um, good to share...
I've been going through my old notebooks again. It's interesting to come across things I don't remember and having all those feelings come back to me. Below is something I came across that I wrote about 10 years ago, and I'm guessing it was most likely written when I started taking Prozac. For some people, it can tend to have the side effect of making them more depressed and suicidal at first and I think that was the case with me. Then again, we have to consider that I was a teenager and thought I was "deep"....

I feel the fear that you call weakness. I live the popular lie of disillusionment, and even that gets old. But what I ask is, how can I believe in anything when my mind is only a clean blank slate for you to write your ideas on? Everywhere I turn, the beliefs turn into fear and I wonder why the hell am I here? In present tense, I just need something so I can sleep at night. Maybe we all do. And to believe in your non-beliefs would still be wrong to you if it was true, because they would be your words and not mine. The fear is always here, of a fate worse than death. So I turn to suicide so I can be in control, so I can get to me before you can. And it's not to say it's your fault, but your eyes are boring into my skull and now I'm thinking your thoughts because you have written them there. And what am I supposed to do? I just want to sleep at night and know that I'll wake up. And to get by in this world I have to believe in lies or else be persecuted from all sides.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

more f****d up dreams

Let's recap the dreams I've had lately, shall we?

A few nights ago, I was dreaming about the new house. Everything worked out and we were settling in nicely. Then I went to take a shower, turned the water on and got in, and all of a sudden noticed that there was a section above the shower where the paint was peeled back and there was a hole in the wall. These nasty fucking earwigs (if you don't have them where you live, be grateful) started creeping out of there like I had awakened them. I got out of the shower to get some bug spray, but when I came back, they were literally hundreds of them pouring down the wall. It was fucking gross and disturbing. I woke up at that point.

I also had a dream recently about this girl I used to know. (No, this one isn't sexual, because in real life I really don't like her anymore). My boyfriend told me he had talked to her ex boyfriend recently and forgot to tell me that she had committed suicide. I was surprised because no one I've met boasts about themself as much as she does and because she's a mother of a young child. What could've happened to her life? Her ex boyfriend didn't seem too surprised by it though, like it was something that everyone expected. It was fucked up. I was trying to find an explanation, but no one would come out and tell me, and it was too late anyway. Really depressing.

Just a warning, this next one gets a little graphic.... but we're all adults here, right?

The other dream I had was quite a bit more pleasant, or at least interesting, although strange. I was at some sort of nightclub with a lot of gold-ish decor. There was loud music playing, people dancing, and everyone was having a good time. Dancers were on the stage, grinding slowly to the music. I was getting drunk and felt sexy and powerful. I looked down and I was wearing a sheer black floor-length robe, heels and thigh high stockings attached to a garter belt. I don't remember what else, if anything, I had on. I settled into a chaise lounge type of chair and adjusted my stockings, slowly running my hands up my legs and letting my long dark hair fall into my face. My boyfriend and his coworkers wandered over, drinks in hand and visibly buzzed. He sat down next to me and we started making out, getting touchy feely and not caring who was watching. Our breath quickened and things became more heated. Without hesitating, I unzipped his trousers and found him hard as a rock against my hand. People around us were wooping it up, and we were putting on a show for them. All my inhibitions were gone, so I pushed him back onto the lounge chair and kneeled over him, sucking his cock while on all fours with my ass raised in the air. My lips and tongue worked around his shaft and I tried taking him as deep as I could, showing off for the crowd. He wasn't embarrassed, and sort of laughed, saying "See? I told you she was good." I lifted my head up for a moment and noticed that his boss was standing right next to us and was pulling on his own stiffened cock. It didn't bother us, and I smiled mischieviously, raising up on my knees to his level. I pulled him towards me by his belt, his erection poking out of the fly of his pants. With one quick movement, I had his entire cock in my mouth while I was being spanked by my boyfriend. I began alternating between the two until I was dizzy. It wasn't degrading, it was more a sense of confidence with being the center of attention. As you can imagine, it made for a sticky situation. (heheh)

I said they were fucked up dreams!

Monday, October 24, 2005

Monday night

Just when I was starting to think that maybe I've spent a bit too much time on the computer, and maybe I should perhaps move on to other forms of entertainment... Just when I was thinking of all the good movies to watch at any time on the DVR... Just when I decided to get back into "We Love Katamari" and was almost getting better at it... Our precious TV crapped out on us! Yeah, we've been TV junkies for a while now, so it's a disappointment. Ah, well I suppose the timing is just right. I need to get back into the swing of things and should be spending my time packing and cleaning anyway. But still... that's another expense we weren't expecting. Poop!

Reminds me of a quote from The Simpsons "The Shinning" episode:
"No TV and no beer make Homer... something something"
"Go crazy?"
"Don't mind if I do!"

Sunday, October 23, 2005

Moving right along...

Ughh. Sorry about leaving that last (bad) post up so long. I think all the stuff going on has made me overly sensitive and crabby lately. But it's been a good, productive weekend and things are moving right along. There are boxes and bags all over the place and hopefully we'll be out of this apartment in less than a month. I need some sleep, but will post again soon. Hope everyone's doing well out there!

Thursday, October 20, 2005

27 going on... 7?

Sometimes it's hard to tell you what I'm thinking. My mind's all a mess anyway. But even if I could figure out what I am and what I want to express, I can't picture anyone really understanding. I can't picture myself finding my group of people, like the bee girl in the "No Rain" video. I've been sort of associated with different groups before, but never felt like I really belonged. I guess that's why you've got to decide who you are and just put yourself out there without giving a fuck. I don't know how to act. I like to be alone, but I like attention too. I'd like to be interesting and not annoying. I don't think there is anything intriguing about me. People just assume they know me, that meek little doormat girl who you know wants to be your friend. Even though you don't really like her, you'll give her the time of day once in a while just to make you feel better about yourself. I don't know - I like sarcasm, I like abstract things, I like deep thoughts and poetry, I like people who make me stop and think and wonder. But I also sometimes wish that people wouldn't play these fucking characters. Just to be elusive and not let anyone get close to you or see that you have feelings. Maybe because when I was younger, I pretended to other people that things were fine when they weren't. Even though they probably knew anyway. And I wanted to be honest, but I wasn't allowed to. It would piss me off greatly when my mom had just gotten into a huge screaming argument with me or my brothers, but as soon as the phone rang she was all fake-cheery and laughing it up with her friends. I know there are reasons people do that, and it's usually to protect themselves, but sometimes I have to just stop sweeping stuff under the rug and pretending it's not there. Then again - I don't know, perhaps I would be a better, stronger, more respectable person if I didn't go around admitting my weaknesses and feelings?

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Roll it up!

Have I mentioned that Katamari Damacy & We Love Katamari are just wonderfully trippy addictively fun games?! I'm not saying I'm good at playing, but it's enjoyable to watch too! (Ok, I'll admit it - I just can't deal with disappointing the King of All Cosmos if my katamari's not big enough - he's so harsh!) I'm listening to some of the songs off the soundtracks at work right now. Because really, who doesn't love Japanese video game music? Oh. Well, okay - maybe that's not the best description. You'll just have to give it a chance yourself! (Inebriation helpful, but not necessary for enjoyment.)

Tuesday, October 18, 2005


Hey! Here are some more reasons not to fuck up your credit if you still have the chance. When you do eventually get to a point in your life where it matters, the shit will come back to haunt you. Despite your know-it-all ex-boyfriend's insistence that phone bills won't count against you, and that you should put it in your name and not his, and your trust that he will help you pay it off after he orders a top of the line cordless phone, headset and answering machine from the goddamn phone company who you know charges up the ass for that, you will be the one responsible for it. Long after you've been broken up, changed residencies 3 times and years have passed. Yes, everyone makes stupid mistakes and does shit that their parents groaned about and told them not to, but when you get a little bit older and wiser, you'll realize "fuck! that was important!" as you are denied credit cards, loans, leases, etc. And these people don't want to hear another sob story about you being young and dumb and unemployed back then. Or about how you had a joint account at the video store and he told you he'd be sure to return those movies. They don't even want to hear about how responsible you try to be now or how you've gotten your life together. Suck it up and pay it off!

So, okay - you've got the money now, you've seen the marks on your credit report and you want to make amends. Is it too little, too late? Oh, no - it's never too late for them to take your money. But you would've been smart to pay off your original debt before it got turned over to a collection agency. Because you will have to pay them on their terms. Some of them try to make it as painless as possible, although just finding out if their company exists and is legit and has a telephone number is a feat of it's own. Once you call, they know they've got you where they want you. These are not real people, folks! Okay, perhaps they're real but they've been jaded by so many other dumbfucks like yourself that they could really give a shit less about you trying to clean up your bad credit and resort to reading their script like an automaton. The other tactic I love is that they will refer to themselves as Mr. or Mrs. - like you lowlifes better refer to them like you would a teacher or an adult with authority because regardless of age, you are not at their level. It's not Shaniqua, it's Ms. Brown to you! Ms. Brown doesn't want you to send a check but she will gladly take your account and routing number from your checking account, since you have proved yourself too stupid and untrustworthy to make the payments yourself. The money will be taken out on the day of the month that is most convenient... for them of course. Or you have option B - which I used with my one other debtor that I owed a very insignificant amount to. You can pay with a credit (ahem, ok - debit) card over the phone for the small "convenience" fee of $7.50. Sure, easy enough. Except for when you can barely understand this person who you are giving your important information to, and they can't understand you either. Four fucking times I repeated my card number before he read back the correct numbers that I gave him, and then he says "ok maam, now I'm gonna need you to read those numbers to me backwards" - oh come on, I think he was just fucking with me at that point! But you know, that's my punishment for not paying them for like, 5 years. So I've paid everything off at this point. One company did what they said and reported that it was paid. The other one tells me I have to pay another $7.50 "convenience" fee for them to send me something saying it's paid. Fine. Oh, but the computer can't generate that report right now, it'll take another week. So call back then. Yep. Exactly. That's what I get.
Grumble grumble.

Monday, October 17, 2005

Two Blogger B-days!

Did you know that it's both Lisa AND HemisphereDancer's birthday today?! What are the chances?! So if you haven't already, get to the well wishings!

In honor of our birthday Libras, here are a few horoscopes for them that I've come across today, take them as you will:

"You will try to alleviate the boredom you feel by making something creative with twine. Fortunately, it will work, but you'll need a lot of twine."

"Heavy weights can be a burden in the desert. You don't have to do anything you don't want to. Unless you're talking about defecation..."

"Master the art of loving yourself -- cherish your imperfections and so will others."

Wow... and these were the better ones I found! Also, you two happen to share the same birthday as: Eminem, George Wendt and Norm MacDonald. Nifty, huh? Hope you both have wonderful birthdays, my dear friends! Cheers!

Friday, October 14, 2005

I'd make a good groupie

Like a lot of other people, there's a certain fascination I have with musicians, artists and writers. I'm not musically inclined myself, although I did uhh, used to sing but umm, err, *cough cough* don't do that so much now. The "group" I was in, in my freshman year of highschool is comparable to the "Getting Gay with Kids" joke on an episode of SouthPark. "We want to see teeth and smiles people, and don't forget the jazz hands!" But that's another story. As for any artistic talent, that's gone about as far as doodling for me. Writing, well - I'm working on that.

I can really appreciate the talents of others though, even though mine shadow in comparison. My boyfriend J (or as he sometimes likes to be called, Chubby Whites™) - happens to be ridiculously talented in all creative areas. (Yep, I'm gonna embarrass you honey) He plays acoustic and electric guitar, keyboards, piano, harmonica... and he writes songs and sings them well! I wish I could've seen him in his days of rockin the open mic night, but have been lucky enough to hear some private performances since we've been together. There's just something about a man and his guitar, so determined, pouring out his emotions, singing things like "she likes the taste of cum" (and no, that's not about me, even though there's nothing wrong with that). It just kinda makes your heart all fluttery. Plus he's an excellent artist, web designer, comedian and a friggin actor, too. Yep, he's just a disgustingly talented little bastard. But it works, as I am more inclined to be a fan than a performer.

Before him, I had a couple experiences with bass players, who are also pretty cool. They're alright with not being the frontman and they get that faraway detached look in their eyes that the ladies love. Very intriguing. Anyways, the point of the story is the song one bass player wrote for me. At least that's what he said. Who am I not to be flattered? It's in my girly nature. But get this, we had to listen to it on a tape in his car, and he wouldn't let me keep or copy the tape. All it was, was a couple minutes of a bass line. No words. No melody with a lead guitar, no drums, just the bass. I mean, bass is cool and all, but... alone, it doesn't really make a song. But it was the thought that counts, right? I can't remember, but I hope I didn't swoon and cry or something stupid that I probably would've done at that age. After all, he did blow me off for a 15 year old not too long after that. But yeah, he had a mohawk and a chain with a padlock around his neck, which he gave me the key to! No, that doesn't make him more cool? Well, that's ok - he didn't end up being that cool anyway. But we'll get to the story of my losing my virginity to him another time, perhaps. Anyone have a groupie story to share?

Thursday, October 13, 2005

meh. bleh. feh.

I've been a worthless piece of crap lately at work, but somehow I don't think anyone will notice...
My head fucking hurts! Maybe it's the changing weather. I'm stuffed up, and whenever that happens, the whole right side of my head aches. The only thing that usually helps is drinking something hot or laying on my left side to ease the pressure. Lights are too bright, sounds are too loud, ack - all my senses get irritated. Ohhh, a nap would be so nice right now.
Shout out to the nice peeps who put up with me even though I may take a little while to write them back! It's always good to hear from you and get a little somethin-somethin in the old inbox.
Oh, and in regards to the house situation: it's still cool, I'm still excited, but I really hope neither of us gets electrocuted trying to fix anything in the future! I mean, I think that's only fun for a second before it would like, really really suck. Just a thought.

I would write more, but right now I can't focus. Blehhh!

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

more quizzes

I'll see your weirdness quiz....

You Are 20% Weird

Not enough to scare other people...
But sometimes you scare yourself.

....and raise you another quiz!

You Are 30% Boyish and 70% Girlish

Even if you're not a girl, you're very feminine.
You're in touch with your feelings, and your heart rules you.
A bit of a emotional roller coaster, one moment you're up and the next you're down.
But no matter what, you try to be as cute and perky as possible.


So sleepy. It occurred to me that perhaps I wouldn't be in such a shitty mood all the time if I just got the right amount of sleep. It's getting darker earlier and staying dark in the mornings now. Grrmmph. So hard to get out of bed. So cold. Need to hibernate. Sometimes the only thing that makes me feel better in the morning is to lay on my stomach with one hip cocked so I can press my aching abdomen into the softness of the bed. And then I really don't want to get up. Stupid female reproductive system. I can't believe how unsympathetic women can be about something that only affects women. It must be nice, you cramp-free, low-flowin bitches! But I digress...

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

I dream about cars, too

Okay, alright. You want to hear about my unsexual dreams? Would that be more appropriate?
So another recurring dream that I have, isn't so much that it's always the same dream, but there are some of the same things in the background. You know, things that just seem part of life in your dream, but are nothing spectacular? For example, I commonly have dreams lately in which I am about to go somewhere and have 3 cars to choose from. The great thing is, I like to have variety and all of the cars are in good shape so I can just pick whichever one fits my mood. One is my first car, the Honda - all unsmashed and brought back to life in just as good of shape as it was 10 years ago. Then there's my Mazda, which is the newest of the three and in the best shape, but I don't want to drive it much so I can keep it nice. Then there's a Chevy Beretta which I have never owned in real life, but I've thought about it and for some reason I like them. I think mostly because on really bad snowy, icy days I would watch to see what cars got around the best, and I saw a lot of Berettas that had no problem getting around. And they're just not that cool, but not that lame either. So in my dream, I'm just happy to have these choices. Just like to have the luxury of having different options, and not having to depend on just one car. Usually I end up taking my first car, even though there's no stereo or anything fancy about it, there's just a special bond there. Does that say something about my psyche? See, folks? I don't ask for much! Most people would want something expensive and sporty and brand new, where as I have a fondness for mid-priced cars with average expectations. I also seem to want to root for the underdog whenever I have choices. Not that I don't appreciate the faster and fancier choices... I'm just weird like that I guess.

Sunday, October 09, 2005

Dreams that were almost cool, I guess

*I don't want you reading this if you know me in real life, or if you're easily offended by slightly suggestive material, but they're just fuckin dreams, people. It's really nothing, so please don't hold it against me.*

Granted, I've been pretty fucked up this weekend. And granted, things are changing in my life right now and there's a lot on my mind.
But the dreams I've been having lately - what the fuck? The other night, I had a dream that I was on the run with 2 women. One of them I loved, and the other one loved me, but everybody didn't love everybody else. We stole this big truck and went to some factory and pretended we worked there so we could steal some shit. I grabbed 2 cartons of cigarettes, a big box full of different Kellogg's cereals and a big jar of pickles. What that's all about, I have no idea. But as we were on our way out, we got caught and it really sucked so my mind kinda stepped in and said "this dream is stupid. I'm ending it now." So really, it wasn't that cool.
Then last night, I had this dream that I was driving around somewhere I didn't know. There were a bazillion different lakes in this town, and it was very quiet there. I went into this grocery store and ended up being held hostage there for a few hours. It wasn't so bad. To pass the time, I went to the hosiery aisle and tried on all the different thigh highs and stockings and modeled them for the other people who were stuck there. Then I just left and it was no big deal. I drove around this strange town for a while and then stopped at some weird old place with a windmill. This girl I used to know was there, I haven't seen her since it was popular to have huge bangs and use tons of hairspray. Our moms were friends and we used to play together. We used to tell each other our secrets and talk about the boys we liked. I asked her if she was still as boy-crazy as ever, and she told me no, that she had decided that she really knew all along that she was a lesbian. And that it was difficult and lonely for her, living in a small town in the middle of nowhere. And I was all comforting as I half-hugged her from the side. My head sort of rested on her shoulder and she smelled so nice and sweet. Before I knew it, my lips had attached themselves to her soft, warm neck and my hands were in her hair. Her mouth was small, soft and shiny with pink lipgloss and I lightly bit her lower lip as we kissed. But that's as far as it went, and then I felt bad and apologized. I was giving her my cell number and again, my brain stepped in and was like "ehh, that's it, time to wake up" and I did, confused....

Friday, October 07, 2005

Regressing & Depressing

It stinks in here like burnt coffee. I didn't make it or drink it, but I will try to clean out the sludge that was boiling on the bottom of the pot.
I'm tired of being told that I look tired. I am tired, and no amount of sleep would be enough to fix me. Maybe I just look like shit, and it's not that I'm tired at all. Maybe I need to take some iron supplements. Whatever.
Advice over here, advice over there. I just don't want to get screwed out of lots of money that I don't have. Everyone has their own ideas for other people's lives. It all looks so simple from the outside, when you don't have to live it. I don't know anything and I don't want to talk about it.
Sometimes you realize that nothing will ever be right, because you won't let it be. Something will always be missing, and it's all in my head. I tried to be happy for a little while, and it made me sad. Because it's really bad when something good happens to you and no one wants to hear about it. Or there's just no one to tell. When have they ever been happy for me? You people that I don't even know can be happier for me than people in real life, and that's sad. I don't have any girl friends or girlfriends, for that matter. I'm jealous. I want to live vicariously through others.

Spooky talk

So, you know I've been on the topic of getting a house lately and I don't want to bore you too much with that. So here's something everyone can identify with - have you ever felt the presence, or been spooked by previous owners of the home? Do you believe in the paranormal? I've heard lots of stories from people with older homes, who truly believe that they are haunted. I don't get that feeling about this home, and it was only built in the 60s, but still... can a house be haunted even if no one died there? Why do so many people tell me that the ghosts they see are children? I don't know much about this kind of stuff, and try to take it all with a grain of salt. It just seems like everyone has a ghost or paranormal story of some kind, so I'm putting the topic out there for discussion. Seems fitting with it being a chilly October day, too!

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Time for a quote

"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom"

-Anais Nin

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Either way, someone won't be happy

I kind of feel like I'm going to throw up, but other than that I appear to be not going completely crazy. That's usually the way it is, I will freak out about the little things and then when it comes to real things I feel oddly calm and detached...

No, wait - I am freaking out!

My mom didn't really need to remind me of what I need to worry about. Doesn't she know that's what I do, is worry? I can't remember her ever being really behind me in any decision I've ever made. Well, that is, on my own... if it was a decision she was involved in making then it was okay. You know, like "it's up to you, but..." and you know the only right choice is whatever it is they want you to choose. I know, people just generally want to influence me since I am so easily influenced, and they mean well mostly. At the same time though, it further promotes my feeling of being immature and helpless when they do that, and I let them. I know I'm to blame. I don't want to look back at my life years from now, and think of all the things I didn't just put my foot down and do, for me.

more later.

Monday, October 03, 2005

Another time

I know, I know - I just keep posting lyrics. But I keep getting these words stuck in my head, and my own thoughts are too scattered to put into my own words right now. There are things I wish I could write, things I wish I could tell you. Wish I was better at expressing myself, thank God for music.

Sorrow drips into your heart through a pinhole
Just like a faucet that leaks and there is comfort in the sound
But while you debate half empty or half full
It slowly rises, your love is gonna drown

Sunday, October 02, 2005

"Get a leg up on the pile"

We've outgrown this place. Almost every day there's a reminder that we don't belong here, and it's just getting worse and worse. I'm hoping a change of scenery will also improve my general mood and way of life. I can't get my hopes up too much and jinx it, but it would be amazing if we ended up in a HOUSE in the very near future. I'm just imagining the things we'd say to each other, that you just don't hear until you're a homeowner, like:

"I think it's in the garage"
"I'll just do this load of laundry while we're waiting"
"I'm down here, in the basement!"
"Sure, you can stay with us, we've got room at our house"
"How are we gonna make our fucking mortgage payment this month?"

You know, stuff like that. Would we become like the people we work with, who look forward to the weekends solely to complete a DIY project? Would we say stuff like "equity" and "interest rates" and "Home Depot"? Eeeek! We'd almost sound like grown ups!

Check out this reference to mortgages on!

big meanies

Sometimes people say or write shit that is so mean and so deeply insulting, you don't even get mad. You don't even want to argue. It may just hit you the wrong way, and other times you wouldn't care. And you don't want to show that you do care, so you turn away so no one can look at you. But your heart has dropped into your stomach and given you that sick feeling, and there's this heat rising up the back of your neck.
And you'll think of an appropriate comeback, 2 days later when it doesn't matter anymore. That's just the nature of things.