Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Before It Gets Better

If it ain't broke, don't fix it. And if it is broke, well... crap, I still might not fix it. Where do I even begin? Can it even be fixed?

That seems to sum up issues in most areas of my life right now. The car. My health. Our house. My mind. Our relationship. The accounting crap at work. It all needs some fixing up but even broken down separately it seems too daunting to even know where to start. I tend to fall into the "Oh, bother. What's the use?" shrug and sigh mentality quite easily, but then the problem becomes that there are not only all these things unfixed or undealt-with, but that I hate myself for not doing them. When negativity, depression and procrastination meet, it's amazing the amount of things you can NOT get done!

Anyway, I was going to write this post to remind myself of how happy I felt after just getting my car out of the shop. It hasn't been running well for months, I'd been putting it off, I was stalling at 3 or 4 intersections each way between home and work and there was increasing fear that one of these times it wouldn't start again, for good. But I figured it would be such an AWFUL and expensive problem that would lead to finding out even MORE AWFUL problems that I couldn't afford and that I'd get screwed over paying to fix, that I kind of didn't even want to know. Somehow, the car didn't fix itself. It ended up being $300 - that I didn't want to spend and certainly didn't just have lying around - but what a relief! To just fix it and be done with it! Like normal people must do! Now I can just worry about the shitty roads and other drivers, but not about whether my car is going to make it home or not - yay!

And then of course my "check engine" light comes on just a couple days after getting the car back. RARRGH.