Monday, January 29, 2007

I'll take my music uncensored and my pants untapered, thanks

Oh you know, same ol' same ol' over here. The dull headache that comes with Mondays is in effect and I'm just gonna ramble to you...

Irish Creme was not a good coffee choice. I don't know about you, but while I do enjoy some flavored creamers in my coffee, I'm almost always disappointed when the coffee itself is flavored. Huh.

The hair-coloring hiatus I had been on for a year is now over (not just because of the boss/gray hair incident, but that was a painful helpful reminder) and thanks to the fiance's handiwork I'm back to rockin the reddish-brown hair again instead of my natural golden brown. Probably will just end up being more obvious when I do have a lingering gray hair, but for now - whatev.

Is it nice to live in one of those states where you don't have to give a shit about recycling aluminum cans? With a ten cent refund each, it's like a lame-ass savings plan for us, just one that creates clutter and hassle instead of earned interest.

We ventured out to the WalMart this weekend - which, as usual, turned out to be a bad idea. You go in there and it's like you're sucked into this strange vortex that transcends space and time. I mean, I wonder if you were just dropped into any one of these stores across the country if you could tell at all - by checking out the merchandise and your fellow shoppers - what state you were in, or even what year it was? Speculation says that once inside it is permanently backwoods Indiana 1989. Oh, I kid, I kid. But there is even a specific dialect to this store along with it's own breed of disaffected, disgruntled employees. I don't know how many other places in Michigan we've ever heard this much use of "y'all" and "dudn't" - while it's endearing coming from an actual southerner, it just feels sort of awkward and out of place when you hear it from people up here. It's not like I think I'm above this store or anything, if that's where it seems I'm going with this (not much of anywhere, really). I'm all about the bargain & clearance shopping, I'm just saying that this place makes my beloved Target seem like even more of a peaceful utopia by comparison.

Oh, I know - so negative! And I didn't even get to the parts about the dumping of snow we've had, financial woes, premarital woes, or pending car issues! I'll try to end this on a positive note by saying that yes, the Nintendo Wii really is as cute and amusing as they say it is. And that it doesn't have to be summertime to enjoy a nice strong mojito.

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Vote of Confidence

So, earlier today my boss comes in to get a file and give instructions. I'm sitting at my desk while he is standing up behind me. We're discussing one of our clients when he rather suddenly stops mid-sentence and glares at the top of my head.

"Hey, I'm sorry but you have THE loongest nappiest gray hair riiight there..."

and before I can even properly respond to this embarrassment, he just YANKS, then looks at his hand and says "oops, well at least I got it..." as he hands me this little clump of about 5 or 6 hairs (ouch) that he pulled! Then he just shrugs and walks out as I ponder what the hell kind of facial expression this situation deserves.

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Oh well, whatever, nevermind.

ANYWAY. I'm sorry about that. That'll show me to do an internal monologue-ish thing without proofreading it. But on the other hand, you know, I'm sick of being sorry for everything I do. And it's just a blog.

I thought I was going to have jury doodie today, and believe it or not, I actually kind of had my hopes up about it. The website for jury information even had quotes from past jurors to attest that the whole thing didn't completely suck ass. One quote just said "They had coffee and it was FREE!" and I was gonna be all about dat. But oh well. No need to report. Regular old day. Apparently, yesterday was supposed to be the shittiest day of the year or something (I'm surprised I didn't start my period), so at least we're past that now, eh?

It'll all be fine.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

"Delivery for... I.C. Weiner?"

Well, it is kind of pretty out when everything has a fine coating of ice on it. I'm so grateful for having a garage, especially at times like this. And for the moment, my car is acting fine (despite being in and out of the shop 3 times for not starting) although it's hard to tell if or when it'll act up again. The fun thing is when it's so iced up out there that the traffic lights don't work and no one knows what to do. A four-way stop ends up being an impromptu game of chicken. Whee!

So, we got the American Idol Karaoke Revolution game last weekend. The judges' comments get annoying after a while - as they do on the actual show. It's bad enough having a rusty and out of tune voice, but when you don't know the song that well either, it can really be painful. (The cat's ears were back and hopefully no one walking by could hear me from outside.) We had fun with it though. Then I caught some of the show last night - meh. I haven't been following all along, but isn't Simon becoming altogether less annoying than Randy? Oh and what the fuck was Jewel doing there? I found myself resenting her very presence for some reason, but that's mostly due to an old grudge (that I hold for no real reason, in my mind). Eh, whatever - I don't know why I thought it would be fun to watch this time.

I don't remember much of my dream this morning other than I was at some party - I think it was possibly a high-school reunion. I was frustrated and having shoe problems - first I was wearing some that cut my feet, then changed into another pair only to slip and step into a huge mess of pudding. Nice. Then a friend was trying to convince me that we should leave and I was saying "No. You don't understand. I am NOT leaving this party until someone wants to fuck me." Good thing J woke me up shortly thereafter, I imagine even in my subconscious I would've been waiting at that party for a LOOONG time, if ya know what I'm sayin. Zing!

Sunday, January 14, 2007

Something tells me I've been here before

Oh man, I've been sleeping way too much and still feeling tired.

One of the more odd recurring elements of my dreams will be flipping the bird. Though I really don't do it all that much in real life, in my dreams there always seems to be a need for it. But in dreamland my hands won't cooperate. I will thrust my hand out at someone angrily, but then will have to use my other hand to extend the middle finger while holding the other ones down - by that time, the meaning is lost on the finger-deserver. I have no idea what that means, other than it's pretty close to the token "trying to run but being stuck in quicksand" feeling, or the "trying to call 911 but keep dialing it wrong" response.

Pretty lame defense anyway, I suppose. "Wait, wait, bad person - I have something to show you - a finger! Hold on, let me get it. There we go, yeah, eat that!"

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Long nights, impossible odds

Blah blah blah. Taking up space. 'Cause I don't like having the beginning of my posts showing up in Google's cache. Blah blah dee dah. Already know this one's a doozy...

It's eerily quiet around the orifice today. Huh. True dat.
Gives me too much time to drift.
Last night slash this morning
I was dreaming of impossible sex in an uncomfortable place.
I mean we don't even have a bathtub.
Much less the balance for that kind of thing.
And then I woke up with "Blue Collar Man" by Styx running through my head.
Just for kicks, I guess.
I think I'm losing it.
The other day I
Went to the doctor
and the doctor said
or asked
if my hair color was natural
whilst poking between my legs
which made me think
"Does the carpet match the drapes?"
Yes it does.
Mark that down.
That is all.
Non-post it up!

Friday, January 05, 2007

More barn, less noble

There's a gift card for a bookstore burning a hole in my pocket. I had thought this would be an easy one, as I already have a running list o' books that I want to read, but it turns out I must be too cheap and indecisive to buy anything yet. I know - it's not even BUYING it because it's a gift card, and I still don't want to let myself pay full price. Plus, it just was not a good shopping experience. I haven't been having very good shopping experiences lately - WTF? Even with the holidays being over? Oh right, the kids are still out of school and there's plenty of other peeps who are Entitled to Copious Amounts of Vacation Time. So the stores are still packed, the clearance racks are picked over and boogered up, and everyone's too exhausted from the holidays to be polite to each other any more than is necessary. And maybe it's just me, but the last couple times I've been shopping the heat has been CRANKED. Which usually I don't mind, since I'm one of those always cold people (frigid bitch) but this was just excessive to the point where you just start getting really pissy and want to leave. Good strategy there. Then after dodging the kids playing a good old-fashioned game of Shriek and Run at the bookstore (in which I think the goal is to see how many senior citizens they could scare poopless/knock over), I noticed the store was playing an interesting selection of music, especially for a B&N. Like maybe one of their highschool employees slipped in a "Sex Mix 2006" CD from their personal collection or something, like I probably would've done at that age (oh wait, I DID do that at that age, but it was at an unpopular music store and I WAS a hornified teenager so that was understandable, eh?). Anyway, between the stifling heat and the disappointing pile of clearance crap (toilet sudoku anyone?), the breathy sex whispers and pulsating rhythm of the music and the meeting-then-breaking eye contact with a couple disillusioned guys who didn't immediately realize I was just some frumpy chick who was actually there to look for books - I figured I'd cut my losses, buy a half-price donkey calendar and high-tail it out of there.
Dang, all that and yet I find myself getting psyched up to do some shoppping this weekend...

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Somethin's got to give

Oy. I thought about listing some resolutions for the New Year, but there are so many things I need to change that it just seems overwhelming and well, kind of depressing. Kind of REALLY depressing. My big problem that leads to several other mini-problems is that I procrastinate and don't want to deal with shit. But it's always looming there and making things worse, and before I know it I've got a whole pile of problems and don't know where to start with solving them. Christ, I think I need a whole personality makeover at this point. I mean, shit I've got weight loss - which is huge (ha ha) on it's own - to work on, home projects up the wazoo, loads of shit to organize so we can pay our bills like normal adults without digging through stacks of bullshit, being more like a "normal" functioning adult, regularly keeping up the house so it doesn't look like a bachelor pad, and among other things there's oh, that little matter of PLANNING a WEDDING which I haven't given nearly enough thought about, much less put things into action. It all stresses me out and seems so overwhelming, that I just... don't do it. I don't know exactly what it is, but I feel frozen, unable to move forward. Maybe I'm chicken-shit or maybe I'm just lazy. Or both.

I'm eating a slimfast bar for lunch and as expected - it's pretty feckin gross. Just like the drink, there's that lingering aftertaste of vitamins & minerals. Nastykins!

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Oh silliness

Ooh, I loves me some "lost in translation" type humor, which is why my favorite time-wastin' website lately has been But seeing as how I usually find out about cool stuff about a year or two after everyone else, I won't be surprised if this is old news to you. Still, that's some funny stuff to me!

Monday, January 01, 2007

Happy New Year

Here's the song that's been stuck in my head today:

I guess we've started off the New Year kinda Irishlike so far: J's dad had us over for corned beef & cabbage and then he gave us an Everlast (who, as you know, is mostly Irish) CD (turned out to be too thuggish for his taste) and now, well I'm gonna totally put some Irish Cream in me. In my coffee.

Hope you have/had a good one!