Thursday, April 03, 2008

Let's Get Lost

I seem to have the kind of voice that makes people drift off while I'm mid-sentence. (I'll have to put that on my next job application/resume under leadership skills.) Ok, so being a dynamic speaker doesn't come so naturally to everyone, big deal. The bigger problem is that I just don't feel that I can express myself like I used to, or relate to people in the same way I used to. And it's like I'm clogged up with stuff I can't say, or even write. At some point, I just... got quiet. The book I'm reading happened to have a line in it about how when you're quiet so much of the time it doesn't make people think of you as being deep or thoughtful, it just makes them forget you. Or something to that extent. But - and I know I've said this before - then when I am feeling "talky" it just all comes out like verbal vomit. Or maybe dry heaves. Either way, you'll want to watch out if you're in the vicinity. Guhh, when did I revert to my adolescent years and become so socially AWKWARD again?

In work-related news, we're moving our office again. It sounds like our new location will be more "officey" and hopefully will be a better fit, although I'm a bit skeptical. So um, do you think it looks shady when a business has a really vague, nondescript name, a weak website, ridiculously long and hard to remember email addresses, and then also moves every two years? I'm just sayin. But hey, maybe we're on the up and up. I hear that this new place will probably be equipped with both hot and cold water options in the bathroom - faan-say!

The family-related news is just not good, and has been looming over me these days. Again, involving my brother that is often in trouble and now has a major health issue on top of everything else. It just makes me feel... well, sad and conflicted but also guilty. His situation is out of my control at this point, but I just feel like I should do or should've done something - even if that's just praying and thinking positively - and I haven't been that good at even doing that.

Well, I feel like I'm just throwing out negative after negative, so how 'bout I switch to a lighter topic? To cheer myself up lately, I've taken to online shoe-shopping. Oh, I haven't been blowing a bunch of money on it - mostly just spending a ridiculous amount of time perusing and considering items I MIGHT buy, eventually. Buying shoes is one of those stereotypical things that people expect all women to do compulsively, but I have to say I'm... well, somewhat clueless when it comes to footwear. I also am cheap and have to get it through my damn head that maybe in this case quality is more important than quantity. Thus, the pile of clearance shoes that hurt or don't fit right and are sitting around not being worn. I ordered some Clarks from Amazon recently, because I like how they look and they seem to have a reputation for being comfortable and of quality, (and ok - they were heavily marked down) but while they are cute and all, I'm not finding them as comfortable as I hoped they would be. The comfort and fit will vary from style to style within the brand you say? So I can't just pick a brand and assume all of their shoes will be wonderful? Well, shit. Now I've got a pair of Softspots shoes on the way. Have I tried these on before? No. Has anyone personally recommended them to me? Um, no. I just thought they looked nice as well as functional, and I'm taking a chance that they are as comfortable and pillowy as they claim to be in the description. And, alright - they were 30 bucks BUT they were 70 originally. Eh? Do I just set myself up for bad footwear? Or does cost not necessarily mean quality? Because I've read all kinds of awesome reviews of Dansko shoes, none of which are under $100 and yet, the almost-new pairs that were (granted) handed down to me... well, they really aren't too impressive or comfortable or anything. Maybe it's just me. If you have shoe advice, please share. I know trying them on first is a no-brainer, and I do when I can but I just haven't been too happy with the shoe selection around here, so I've turned to the internets. So, do you go for looks or comfort or clearance? Do you have a favorite brand that's never let you down? Do you have wicked high arches like me? Haalp!