Yeah, it's one of those cat posts

In her old age, this cat has become quite a scavenger. That, along with her nearly a dollar-a-day habit of being a catsip fiend is making us rethink our ideas on spoiling cats. I think it's more of a thrill for her just to score the coveted people food than it is to actually eat it. Yesterday I had picked up a two-pack of small sized blueberry muffins from the gas station (yes, because I'm certainly not above gas station treats - shutup.) I ended up bringing them home and gave one to J, then carelessly thought that tucking the cellophane around the other muffin was sufficient. This morning the table was strewn with crumbs and wrappers and the sad little muffin had not only been tossed around recklessly but had several nibbles taken out of it. Little stinker. Who would've thought the cat would have any interest in blueberry muffins? What I don't get though, is not so much how she got it out of the package but how she got the muffin paper completely off the bottom and tossed it aside, still nearly all in one piece. If she can do all that, well then she can take a turn doing the dishes around here too. These cats, I tell ya...

Distractinator

I think I've just discovered a secret, special power that I have over people. Ooh! Behold! Are you ready? Folks, get this - I have the power to give people attention deficit disorder just by speaking to them! Yes! If this was a sickness, they'd be dropping like flies all around me! Even if they never appeared to have this ADD before, well I just have a knack for bringing it out in people. No snapping my fingers, casting spells, wiggling my nose or anything. Ah yes, just let the gentle sound of my voice lull you into a distracted trance and suddenly everything in the world is more interesting than this. I wasn't saying anything important anyway - you can count on that, huh? It's like magic! I can begin a sentence and wow, I'm only halfway through it before I get interrupted by you. You'll even say something that's completely off the subject. It's like I wasn't even talking! Ha, as far as you know I wasn't! Wow, I must have... what's the opposite of charisma? In addition to this ability, I can apparently erase your memory as well, as you will have no idea that we had this conversation before and that I already answered the questions you asked. It's like it never even happened and I'm just making this shit up for the fun of it!

So, as I was saying... hello? Yes, as I was saying... uh huh, it is a nice day outside, oh yep I see you're busy gazing out the window even though we were in some sort of conversation just a moment ago. That's okay, heh heh. So yeah, hi! As I was saying we did receive that paperwork just... well no, it's not a new sweater but thank you for noticing that just now. So, anyway... oh okay I've got your attention? Oh thank you, I know how difficult it is to get through this conversation with me but I just wanted to say that - no, actually that wasn't what I was going to say if you'll just lis - mm hmm, mm hmm. Okay, never fucking mind.

Big questions, vague answers

So, what's been up? I keep starting to post and then either get distracted or bored with my own words and stop. Maybe I have more to say when nothing is going on, or something like that. I'm starting to get as bad with this as I am at communicating with my family. Not good. I think I need to just write about what I'm thinking and stop thinking so much about what I'm writing. Eh?

Last weekend we attending a wedding for a guy that J works with. It was a major event, I can't even guess how much time and money went into it. The reception was lovely and fancy yet still a lot of fun. Open bar, y'all. Appetizers galore. I got more than a little tipsy and at times was whispering things to J like "I wanna fuck you right here on the ground" and "I think I'm going blind" among giddy laughter. But that's okay, it's a rare occasion that I actually get to enjoy kickin back the drinks. It was very sweet of him to look out for me and I'm thankful that he drove, although that meant he couldn't get as much of a buzz. We'll have to get better about drinking together at home. Sounds like a goal, eh? Well it would really be for the best - neither of us would have to worry about driving and we would be less likely to miss the window of opportunity when I am extremely horny and down for anythang. Christ, I'm 28 and I'm just getting this drinking thing figured out.

Of course, being at a wedding and all when you've just announced your engagement makes people throw a lot of questions at you. They all meant well, but at some points J and I were ready to plug our ears and just keep repeating "We DON'T know yet, we will tell you when we DO know!" This is one of those instances where I kinda feel like I'm just not like other women. I haven't really had this dream of exactly how I want my wedding to be for my whole life like other girls have. I don't plan on being a pushy, overbearing bridezilla and having everyone involved say "I'm just so glad it's almost over" on my wedding day. (Sure, I say that now.) I just want things to be simple. Simple is all we can afford, both monetarily and mentally! I'm sure I'll be saying more about this as things get set in motion. But for now, we still have to decide on the church and set a date to get things started. The whole church thing has made me start thinking more seriously about religion and what I believe in, and if there is a church that I feel I can identify with. I don't want to just casually throw away my Catholic roots and what I'm familiar with, but then again I feel like how I live my life and what I think is okay sort of conflicts with what the standards are for that religion. I don't know. It's a touchy subject and probably not the best one to blog about. Let's just say I feel as if I could be starting on some sort of spiritual journey at this point in my life. Yikes.

Scaredy-buns

Psst! Hey, you don't mind if I just sit here being totally spooked, do you? OMG, I smelled a cat. Seriously, it was like right here. Holy shit. That is SO not cool. I'm serious I like cannot move now, I'm just majorly fah-reaking out! Gahh! Would ya quit with the talking about me and taking the pictures? For chrissakes you're gonna blow my cover!

Get in shape, girl!

Does anyone remember the Get in Shape, Girl! craze from the 80s? Did one of you blog about this already? Well anyway, I remember it was pretty effective in making us young girls think "Excercise is FUN!" Well, fun as long as you were properly accessorized with lavender sweat bands and various pastel wrist weights. Yay, accessories! The package I had came with a cassette tape with the signature song on it and oooh, pretty ribbon on a stick thing (did that have a name?)! Anyway, if you don't know what I'm talking about check out the commercial.
So... I finally got the elliptical machine I've been thinking about getting (and procrastinating about getting) for quite awhile. I'm way overdue to get my ass in gear. It's pretty cool, I feel the burn but it's still low-impact which is good for my "old-fart legs." I used to have a somewhat decent body and I want that back! Shamefully, it's been about 10 years (since highschool gym class) that I've done anything other than walking or sex as a physical activity. Yeehaw! I know, this need for excercise comes naturally to some of you folks but for me, this is like a big thing. Woo, I'm doing something! Now if only I can be patient and stay with it even if I don't see immediate results.

Hiding from the light

If only I was still young enough for it to be teen angst. I still feel angsty. But even then it wasn't really okay. Not for me. But it was more understandable at the time. Some people just can be like that but still be charmingly endearing when it matters the most and then it's okay. I still want to keep the doors shut and locked. Hide in a closet. I want to retreat deep inside myself and say it's for artistic reasons. Create something beautiful out of something tragic. I wish I could say what I mean and have it mean something, at least to me. Half the time I know what I mean to say. Maybe it's true that the things we can't stand in others are things that we can't stand with ourselves. And we should understand each other but we don't. The things that I assume that you can't stand about me are the things that I probably can't stand with myself. So there you go. It's two-fold. I'm angry at whatever I'm angry at but I'm also angry at myself for reacting to it the way I do when I'm angry. I have all these feelings I don't know what to do with. Same as it ever was.

Some of us don't know why

Little things are changing in my little world and surprisingly enough, I feel myself going with the flow more than resisting it. Somehow I think it's all going to be okay.
I've got things to tell you and pictures to post, will have to do that a bit later.

Yesterday we watched Donnie Darko and I think it's one of those movies that will make more sense the 2nd time. It kind of creeped me out and made me think, which isn't all bad. I can be a sucker for the plot twists that everyone else sees coming. Also really enjoyed the soundtrack. I'd say it was less twistedly confusing than a David Lynch film but leaves more room for pondering and self-interpretation than a M. Night Shymalan movie. I don't know. I could be way off, I just like the movies that stick in my mind for a bit like this one. Then again, sometimes I think things are sooo deep that they're really not that deep at all.

More soon.