The search continues...

Checked out another wedding venue this weekend, not sure if it's a likely candidate. One "plus" that they have is the BYOB policy, so we can supply the liquor, have their bartenders serve it and possibly save some money that way (we're trying to avoid a cash bar if possible, but it probably won't be possible). The negatives include: slightly out of town location, a gravel "parking lot" and the building itself (which is an old mill that's been renovated) looking from the outside pretty much like the surrounding buildings in that area - as in, ugly warehouse-like and/or abandoned. The room rental also isn't that cheap considering the above and that you have to rent place settings for $3.50 a pop. Plus, we both agreed that having a sign out front with "let us catar your event" just doesn't inspire confidence. Thankfully it didn't say "you're event" though - I think I would've screamed and run away at that point.

The suggestions were good for having a casual backyard wedding - our yard is just too small, and any family members who would have decent-sized property are a ways out of town. Still a consideration though. There are a few more places on my list that I want to visit - I'm trying to keep my hopes up. There has to be something at least halfway decent around here.








Of course, there's always the beach wedding idea - can't imagine what could go wrong there...

Distracted, discouraged, somewhat hopeful

Not to be a complainer, but... ah, fuck it - you know me. Lately I've really been making a concerted effort to get back into the wedding planning, but I'm still not getting very far. It just doesn't come as naturally to me as it does most women, that part that says "This! I want this and I must have it! I'm a princess, a pretty pretty princess!" Ok, maybe not. But I do need to get at least something in order, an' wit' a quickness. The few options that are out there are all getting booked for any of the decent dates next year. I'm feelin the pressure, yo. The trouble isn't just money - even though that is quite troubling - it's that I'm awful at making decisions, especially when I'm not that thrilled with any of my options. I know that sometime here in the nearish future, we'll be married. But right now, it just feels really out of reach and I feel just kind of stupid and bad about it. But that's just me. I've probably said all this before.

I've been seeing some really awful, like inexcusably bad, websites while looking for wedding vendors. Stuff that hasn't been updated in years, corny graphics from the 90s, the whole bit. Doesn't anyone check out business' websites these days? I mean, I'm not going to book something just by seeing it online, but damn, would it kill these people to put up some useful information? Maybe throw me a few decent pictures that aren't thumbnail size? It is at least somewhat representative of your business, no? Bah!

But it's alright.

So, how've you been? We should catch up again sometime soon.

Big questions, vague answers

So, what's been up? I keep starting to post and then either get distracted or bored with my own words and stop. Maybe I have more to say when nothing is going on, or something like that. I'm starting to get as bad with this as I am at communicating with my family. Not good. I think I need to just write about what I'm thinking and stop thinking so much about what I'm writing. Eh?

Last weekend we attending a wedding for a guy that J works with. It was a major event, I can't even guess how much time and money went into it. The reception was lovely and fancy yet still a lot of fun. Open bar, y'all. Appetizers galore. I got more than a little tipsy and at times was whispering things to J like "I wanna fuck you right here on the ground" and "I think I'm going blind" among giddy laughter. But that's okay, it's a rare occasion that I actually get to enjoy kickin back the drinks. It was very sweet of him to look out for me and I'm thankful that he drove, although that meant he couldn't get as much of a buzz. We'll have to get better about drinking together at home. Sounds like a goal, eh? Well it would really be for the best - neither of us would have to worry about driving and we would be less likely to miss the window of opportunity when I am extremely horny and down for anythang. Christ, I'm 28 and I'm just getting this drinking thing figured out.

Of course, being at a wedding and all when you've just announced your engagement makes people throw a lot of questions at you. They all meant well, but at some points J and I were ready to plug our ears and just keep repeating "We DON'T know yet, we will tell you when we DO know!" This is one of those instances where I kinda feel like I'm just not like other women. I haven't really had this dream of exactly how I want my wedding to be for my whole life like other girls have. I don't plan on being a pushy, overbearing bridezilla and having everyone involved say "I'm just so glad it's almost over" on my wedding day. (Sure, I say that now.) I just want things to be simple. Simple is all we can afford, both monetarily and mentally! I'm sure I'll be saying more about this as things get set in motion. But for now, we still have to decide on the church and set a date to get things started. The whole church thing has made me start thinking more seriously about religion and what I believe in, and if there is a church that I feel I can identify with. I don't want to just casually throw away my Catholic roots and what I'm familiar with, but then again I feel like how I live my life and what I think is okay sort of conflicts with what the standards are for that religion. I don't know. It's a touchy subject and probably not the best one to blog about. Let's just say I feel as if I could be starting on some sort of spiritual journey at this point in my life. Yikes.

Officially Officialized

So yes, my birthday dinner on Thursday completely surpassed the dinner I wrote about in the last post. By far. Can't even judge it on the same scale. I don't think I can remember a (restaurant) dining experience that was this good. He made reservations and we got dressed up a bit. It was a lovely, relaxed, romantic dinner with delicious food, easy conversation, googley eyes at each other and hand-holding across the table. Six years we've been together and the same thing I said about him at the beginning still holds true: he can make me smile and laugh so much that my face will hurt and my heart feels like it could burst. In a good way.

We walked out of the restaurant in good spirits. I was feeling giddy and slightly drunk on him and on the two Long Island iced teas (I really didn't need the second one - but hell, it's my birfday) I had consumed. The sun hadn't quite set and it began softly sprinkling as he pulled me close and gave me a sweet kiss when we reached the car. Then before I knew it, he took my hand in his and got down on one knee. He looked up at me with those beautiful green eyes, so full of love and my heart raced with excitement. A small group of people who were dining outside became a cheering section and a pleasant audience to the proposal. My hand went over my mouth, half-laughing half-crying, nodding incessantly and then cradling his face in my hands and kissing him. Oh and I managed to say yes somewhere in there, the ring slid onto my finger and we embraced and kissed to another round of applause. It's official. He is mine, I am his and it was a very wonderful birthday.