What I meant to say was

I've got to get out of the habit of second-guessing everything. I suppose that goes along with insecurity and indecisiveness (not saying those are my good traits) but geez! It just took me like a half hour to write a stupid two sentence email response. I wrote and rewrote the damn thing, trying to come off as funny-yet-professional, then of course thought of a much better way I could have worded it after it was too late. And what's worse than the initial trying-to-be funny email than a follow-up email explaining "wait, no - that wasn't substantially funny, was it? Disregard that last message and read this belatedly clever response instead! Ho ho... ha HA, my friend! Glad I sent you THAT one, eh?"

Well, at least I didn't do that (the second email). But I did write this.

Update: I earned myself a "Lol" from one of the business-types - I shall let this one rest.

No wonder it has taken me a month to write a damn blog saying not much of anything and I still end up republishing it 3 times. Garrgh.

Words questioned in the making of this post: indecisiveness, belatedly, substantially, clever, et al. (Also just looked up et al. before committing to it.)

Cat Lesson #16

Scoring water from any source other than the specified "cat bowl" not only tastes better and temporarily cures boredom, but also reminds the human of another important cat lesson: finders keepers.

Invisible Roadblocks

Why do I always feel the need to give myself an intro to what I'm going to say? It's a whole lot of leading up to nothing. I feel as if I'm gradually unlearning any previous communication skills I had. Bear with, I feel some train-of-thought, free-form posts coming. And well, there I go again...

Last night I wasn't sleeping well, kept waking up in that annoying "I'm seriously WAY too awake at this hour" kind of way. Stupid brain wouldn't shut-up. The internal monologue went something like this:
"Hey! What was that joke, that was somewhat funny that time? Hmm, now you can't get back to sleep til you think of it! How did that go again?"
"Why? Who cares? Please, PLEASE shut up and just stop thinking about it!"
"Hey, how about I just keep repeating the song 'Hey Jude' in your head for no reason?"
"RRRGHH!"
"Can I just conjure up some abstract yet poignant dreams?"
"Fine. As long as I can sleep..."

And then I dreamed that a very nice lady (though I'm not quite sure who she was) was gently telling me that I could benefit from some counseling - because, A) most people can benefit from it, and B) I've hit somewhat of a roadblock that I need to work through in order to get on with my life.

Huh. And then I dreamed that I woke up and told you that.

The point is not lost on me, but still... weird.

He still wants to play though

Jonesey doesn't care so much for the intricacies of your Scrabble game.
(Paws at tiles with frustration)

Ooh, clearance. Gimme.

Hi there.

Yeah, I haven't had much to blog about lately and I've been sick. Cough. Sniffle. Hork.

You know what I've been doing a lot of lately? Online bargain browsing. Ohh yeah. Not even shopping, really - because once I get to the point of actually selecting something and adding on the shipping costs, my palms start sweating and I back out. How lame is that? But I know myself, and I get wicked buyer's remorse - probably just decision-making remorse in general. Seriously, it's bad. Like going to some drive-thru restaurant and ordering a combo meal and then scolding myself by the time I get up to the window for not ordering off the value menu and pissed that I went impulsively with the chicken when I initially was going to get a burger and now it's too late and I'm fucked - that kind of bad. Once in a while, in certain situations, this almost-buying-something panic works to my advantage. You'd think it would make me a really smart shopper. Not necessarily true. I think I've just been so used to only bargain-hunting and the thrill of seeing a red clearance sticker that I haven't really allowed myself to chose quality over quantity. I mean, I can't afford to get TOO carried away with "quality", but damnit I can spend more than $10 on a bra that fits - I CAN. I mean, I can - right? Damn, I've got shopping issues.

Another note to add to my shopping rant - after spending time in malls and other obnoxious stores the last couple weekends - complete with bad air circulation, farting customers with no regards for "personal space", giggling and/or whining teenagers (the latter if they were shopping with mom for a prom dress - ugh), and salesclerks who would just as soon stab you than wait on you - the whole online shopping thing is looking a whole lot better to me. And you know what? A lot of online stores even have my beloved clearance sections - yes, it's like a clearance rack, but it's *online*! Woo hoo! I am ON it! Watch out, I'm a noob who just learned how to shop the internets! (I'm right up there with your grandma, I know.)

Someone's got dirty ears!

Well, we'll see how much the sweet kitty likes us after 2 frickin weeks of ear medicine twice a day. He's been really good about it so far though, considering. Can't say I wouldn't be a little pissed about having a bunch of refrigerated oily medicine dropped into my ears either - ughh!

We've pretty much decided on the name "Jonesy" for him. Though I do think "Mr. Furley" would be a pretty damn cute cat name too, though I'd probably be worried if he really had much resemblance to Don Knotts (no offense to the deceased, but you know what I mean.) But anyway, I'm just silly like that.

I'm not sure if I like this stage of American Idol that much. I mean, I guess a lot of them picked pretty shitty songs to begin with but at least they knew the songs a bit better that way when they weren't confined to certain selections. Still, I can see how that may keep the competition exciting. If the kids are going to work with Bon Jovi that should be um, kind of interesting - just don't let them do any songs off that most recent album PLEASE. Oh and you'll probably hate me for saying this, but how the fuck is Gwen Stefani going to coach anyone? Unless they all really need advice about how to perform with the expression of a bratty, pouting 4 year old. Will Chris Sligh try to be funny and pain us with his take on "I'm Just A Girl"? I guess Chris Richardson could probably kick it with "Hella Good" (but more likely my lesser favorite Blake Lewis would take that one) and maybe the girls could sing some of her other songs better than the original, so maybe that would be entertaining after all. But alright, I'll digress with my grumblings and just see what happens.

Did I ever tell you that one of my former coworkers would repeatedly call Justin Timberlake "Jason Timbaland"? That would crack me up every time. She'd also refer to Kurt Cobain as Kirk Colburn or something like that. We were joking about that last night while watching... what's his name? Bryan Seachest? Anyway, maybe it was funnier after throwing back a few.

Alright, I'm even boring myself at this point. See ya.

"Delivery for... I.C. Weiner?"

Well, it is kind of pretty out when everything has a fine coating of ice on it. I'm so grateful for having a garage, especially at times like this. And for the moment, my car is acting fine (despite being in and out of the shop 3 times for not starting) although it's hard to tell if or when it'll act up again. The fun thing is when it's so iced up out there that the traffic lights don't work and no one knows what to do. A four-way stop ends up being an impromptu game of chicken. Whee!

So, we got the American Idol Karaoke Revolution game last weekend. The judges' comments get annoying after a while - as they do on the actual show. It's bad enough having a rusty and out of tune voice, but when you don't know the song that well either, it can really be painful. (The cat's ears were back and hopefully no one walking by could hear me from outside.) We had fun with it though. Then I caught some of the show last night - meh. I haven't been following all along, but isn't Simon becoming altogether less annoying than Randy? Oh and what the fuck was Jewel doing there? I found myself resenting her very presence for some reason, but that's mostly due to an old grudge (that I hold for no real reason, in my mind). Eh, whatever - I don't know why I thought it would be fun to watch this time.

I don't remember much of my dream this morning other than I was at some party - I think it was possibly a high-school reunion. I was frustrated and having shoe problems - first I was wearing some that cut my feet, then changed into another pair only to slip and step into a huge mess of pudding. Nice. Then a friend was trying to convince me that we should leave and I was saying "No. You don't understand. I am NOT leaving this party until someone wants to fuck me." Good thing J woke me up shortly thereafter, I imagine even in my subconscious I would've been waiting at that party for a LOOONG time, if ya know what I'm sayin. Zing!

Long nights, impossible odds

Blah blah blah. Taking up space. 'Cause I don't like having the beginning of my posts showing up in Google's cache. Blah blah dee dah. Already know this one's a doozy...

It's eerily quiet around the orifice today. Huh. True dat.
Gives me too much time to drift.
Last night slash this morning
I was dreaming of impossible sex in an uncomfortable place.
I mean we don't even have a bathtub.
Much less the balance for that kind of thing.
And then I woke up with "Blue Collar Man" by Styx running through my head.
Just for kicks, I guess.
I think I'm losing it.
The other day I
Went to the doctor
and the doctor said
or asked
if my hair color was natural
whilst poking between my legs
which made me think
"Does the carpet match the drapes?"
Yes it does.
Mark that down.
That is all.
Non-post it up!

Oh silliness

Ooh, I loves me some "lost in translation" type humor, which is why my favorite time-wastin' website lately has been Engrish.com. But seeing as how I usually find out about cool stuff about a year or two after everyone else, I won't be surprised if this is old news to you. Still, that's some funny stuff to me!