Thursday, July 07, 2005

Panic

I feel uneasy.
And yes, I'm listening to The Smiths.

The world seems like a depressing and scary place, and further invokes my sometimes irrational anxieties. I start thinking of death and my mind just can't stop this stream of awful thoughts. I feel my heart beating too rapidly, pressure behind my eyes, my stomach clenches up, I start shaking and feel an overwhelming sense of hopelessness and despair. I hate panic attacks. I can barely cope in my sheltered little world, how could I ever deal with what other people around the world have to deal with? I don't mean to sound selfish. I am very sensitive to the pain and suffering of other people. Sometimes I can't help but take it to heart.

So sick of the senseless fucking violence.

4 comments:

Yossarian said...

i like senselessness and i love violence.

i just dont like them together

unless bugs bunny is doing it

Nervous said...

that's understandable

HemisphereDancer said...

If you're already feeling depressed or anxious, for God's sake...TURN OFF THE MORISSEY!

I love The Smiths too, but Morissey can drive Tony Little to suicide!

I know what you mean about the panic attacks...they suck! I had them in college...ugh. The worst.

Hang in there, get a good therapist and take good drugs my friend!

Give me a shout if things get too crazy for you!

Nervous said...

Thanks, HD - I'm glad you understand. I'll be okay, I actually don't give myself enough credit - I have gotten better with coping with anxiety over the years. I just still have my bad days sometimes.
But, do you know the history of psychiatry? Cause Tom Cruise does, and he doesn't approve of your treatment plan - ha ha ha!