Thursday, July 07, 2005

Panic

I feel uneasy.
And yes, I'm listening to The Smiths.

The world seems like a depressing and scary place, and further invokes my sometimes irrational anxieties. I start thinking of death and my mind just can't stop this stream of awful thoughts. I feel my heart beating too rapidly, pressure behind my eyes, my stomach clenches up, I start shaking and feel an overwhelming sense of hopelessness and despair. I hate panic attacks. I can barely cope in my sheltered little world, how could I ever deal with what other people around the world have to deal with? I don't mean to sound selfish. I am very sensitive to the pain and suffering of other people. Sometimes I can't help but take it to heart.

So sick of the senseless fucking violence.

4 comments:

Yossarian said...

i like senselessness and i love violence.

i just dont like them together

unless bugs bunny is doing it

Nervous Girl said...

that's understandable

HemisphereDancer said...

If you're already feeling depressed or anxious, for God's sake...TURN OFF THE MORISSEY!

I love The Smiths too, but Morissey can drive Tony Little to suicide!

I know what you mean about the panic attacks...they suck! I had them in college...ugh. The worst.

Hang in there, get a good therapist and take good drugs my friend!

Give me a shout if things get too crazy for you!

Nervous Girl said...

Thanks, HD - I'm glad you understand. I'll be okay, I actually don't give myself enough credit - I have gotten better with coping with anxiety over the years. I just still have my bad days sometimes.
But, do you know the history of psychiatry? Cause Tom Cruise does, and he doesn't approve of your treatment plan - ha ha ha!