Maybe that whole seasonal affective disorder thing just punched me in the face, or I'm coming down with something, or I'm repressing too much these days? Because this morning I feel extremely low, like - I can't face the world even though my world is pretty small and relatively safe in the bigger scheme of things - low. I feel... crumpled up and separated from my regular self. But it helps to remind myself that it won't always feel like this.
I'll feel the need to try to explain my depression, defending it like it's something I'm guilty of, because I can understand that when you're not in it or never have been, it seems like it would be easier to snap out of than it is. It's hard to explain to someone who says "Smile! What do you have to be depressed about?" what you're going through. Most days it's manageable, it's some wispy gray clouds in the distance - and then some days it's a raging, thundering storm cloud right over your head. That metaphor probably doesn't quite cut it, but whatever.
I've been coming across a lot of great blogs lately, and I admire and appreciate those who are participating in NaBloPoMo - I love opening my feed reader and seeing a bunch of fresh posts waiting for me to read. It helps. More on that another time.
I'll see you on the other side.