Wednesday, July 30, 2008

My head a-splode

Well, the good news is that there's a shiny new (used, but still pretty new) highway-worthy car in the family now! The bad (or good) news is, I don't know how to drive it yet. But J has confidence that he can teach me to drive a stick, and I suppose it'll be a good thing to know. The good news: road trips! The bad news: other people planning road trips for us (No reason you can't go here and there now!) Sometimes I feel like a target for pushy suggestions. I know I'm indecisive but geez, the more people insist that they know how to spend my free time better than I do, the more likely I am to stop listening to their suggestions. Harumph!

I've been highly sensitive and irritable lately (surprise!). The last week especially, I just felt agitated and mean for the most part. I don't like that feeling, the dark thoughts that I have, the wanting to push everyone away. It reminds me very much of behaviors I've seen in my family - and in myself before I got help for depression - and I know how much it sucks to be on the other side of that. Just another reason to stay "on the Z" as now is a really bad time for me to play around with adjusting medication. (Also, OMG RARRGH1!!)

8/1: I wrote this the other day, and I think there was more to say but I'm just going to post as is and move on.


iamnot said...

We're in serious need of a highway worthy vehicle around here...and a little Z wouldn't hurt either.

KC said...

A new vehicle! Good for you. Congratulations. Drive where you want. Screw everyone else!