Friday, June 16, 2006

Casual craving

You know I'm composed of many good girl/bad girl layers right? It's a toss up which side of me you'll see depending on the situation. I will be bad and then I will feel bad for being bad because part of me wants to be good. Part. But I don't like it when people just assume I'm bad or good or whatever. It's all a matter of perspective I suppose.

I feel bad today. Not bad in the usual guilty, made-a-mistake kind of way. More in a rebellious, fiesty, don't-give-a-fuck, let's just do something crazy kind of way. What I want is a girl friend to be a good, bad influence on me right now. Someone who gets as cynical about the world but doesn't see it as drearily as I do. A somewhat girly-girl but not a prissy, high-maintenance girl. A girl that likes to take chances but isn't stupid in her risk-taking. Someone who needs me to be her more sensible counterpart. Okay, maybe just someone who needs me. Maybe. Because when you are a girl's special friend, it feels like some kind of honor like nothing else. To just be liked for who you are by another woman is a beautiful thing. It used to be me that was the "bad influence friend" but I don't think I play that role very well anymore. I want her to be the one that suggests we polish off this bottle of tequila together and I want her to be the one who doesn't care what they think and I want her to be the one who grabs my ass and suggests that we fool around with each other for a while. Yeah, I just said that. Now I feel bad.

Oh, and if that wasn't bad enough I almost forgot to include my "bad girl" thoughts yesterday about having Anderson Cooper naked and on a leash like a good boy. Crazy hormones.


Blush said...

lol anderson cooper. great one.

alas, hormones

move to austin and we'll be friends! you can be the sensible one and ill pour you shots.

Peggasus said...

Are you hitting on me? 'Cause I am all those things except for the fooling around part. But I would play footsies with you, in a good-friend-girly-sort-of-way.

Don't ever feel bad about shit like that. Though could I substitute Mark Harmon for Anderson Cooper?

swirly girl said...

Holy shit! I'm totally into Anderson Cooper. This makes me laugh.

Blush said...

mark harmon, lol!


great post girl

Nervous Girl said...

blush - you're so sweet, that sounds like a tempting idea!

peggasus - haha! aw, that's cute. yes, I suppose you can substiute mark harmon as long as he's got the salt & pepper thing going on!

swirly - yeah, I don't know what it is about him. his being so clean cut makes me want to do bad things to him!

Beck said...

I *heart* Anderson Cooper, too.

Feral Mom said...

I would totally be a bad influence on you. I mean that in the baddest possible way. If we ever meet, I will insist that we finish that bottle of tequila, worm included. However, *you'd* have to walk Anderson and pick up his turds in a plastic bag, because I don't go that way.

Nervous Girl said...

beckalicious - hee hee, I guess he's more popular than I thought, esp. with the ladies!

feral mom - oh god, that's too funny - but you just had to put *that* image of anderson in my head. yes, teach me your feral ways!