The last thing I want to do is push people away, especially when I need them so badly. I wish I didn't, but I do. I've got to stop doing this shit where I compare myself and my life to others and their lives. It only makes me miserable and dissatisfied. I'll think that they do it too, that they see me as less than themselves. But, you know? Maybe they don't. It's not fair to do to myself or anyone else.
There's just a certain place I thought I'd be in by this point in my life. But you know, if I had even half the motivation of an average person - maybe I'd be there by now. If I stop and think, there are things to be desired, but my life isn't too shabby. I can't get jealous because surely everyone has had to struggle in their own way - it only looks easy from the outside.
whether you fall
means nothing at all
it's whether you get up
it's whether you get up...