Whir

Sometimes you gotta just laugh at things. Sometimes I don't take everything (including myself) so stinkin seriously.
So, after work yesterday I was gonna get a car wash since my car's all salty, as well as still a little crunched from that incident that we shall not speak of. And I'm thinking about how silly it is that I don't get car washes more often, so like now it's a big deal or something. I even debated on whether I thought it was a good idea, if loose parts from that incident would come off, but alas it's a "touch-free" carwash. Whatever. Anyway, I already paid for it along with the gas before I went around the corner and realized I was 5th in line. Eh, whatever - I'll wait, I'm here. But things seemed to take forever especially considering that it's one of those automated car washes. In actuality I probably waited 20-25 minutes to get into the damn thing. I get up there, punch in my code and pull in. As I drove in, the lights were flashing "go" and then they stopped flashing when I got to the point where you know, you stop. Typical. The garage door in front of me closes. It usually does in the winter. Typical. I wonder after about 30 seconds why the damn thing hasn't started it's spraying already. I think I've just pulled up crooked or something. I pull up and straighten a little. Nothing. Usually it makes a noise when you're supposed to stop or have gone too far, but it didn't. The garage door behind me slams shut. Heh. Still nothing from the machine, other than a muted whirring sound like it's shutting down. Ohhkay. I look and the column that normally lights up with what part of the cycle you're in is just blinking "0". Umm, what the fuck? I back up and pull forward again, nothing. I begin to fear that I will be trapped in this carwash, that the system has gone haywire and the columns that move vertically will start moving horizontally, and a robot voice will keep ominously repeating "Default setting: crush, kill, destroy!"* I think about getting out of the car but have a feeling I'd be setting myself up for a sitcom-like situation where as soon as I step out, I'm slammed from both sides with blasts of hot soapy water. I'm not getting out. I half turn around and look through the back window at the truck waiting behind me on the other side of the door. He must see that somethings wrong, right? Or maybe he was a jerk and pressed some buttons while I was in here that fucked it all up? Well then in front of me, a little side door opens and an attendant yells "It hasn't run at all?" and then I think he probably saw me on camera backing up and pulling forward and thought what the fuck is this woman doing? He tells me to hold on and I wait in there a few more minutes. He comes back and gives me a ticket for another car wash and says sorry - he doesn't know what's wrong but it'll take some time to reboot the machine. I was just glad to get the hell out of there! Whew!
I got upgraded from a "good" wash to a "better" wash, though not "best." Yeah, that was so worth a half hour.


* love that Simpsons line!