Tell me now how do I feel

Haven't written for a bit and here I am still with nothing wild & crazy to report. But hey, no tales of woe and misery either! Well, not really. Okay, a little woe.

I am experiencing this depression-related anger and anger-related depression. I don't like feeling like this and I feel bad for feeling like this. Some days I feel pretty much like myself, but then lots of days I feel like I'm experiencing the hormonal equivalent to being pregnant, or having postpartum depression, or going through menopause. I know I haven't actually been through these things but they all have something in common - hormonal or chemical imbalances gone awry. I'm not only annoying myself, but the people around me who don't deserve it - and that in turn, makes me feel worse.

I could go into a thing about medications and whether I think they're helping or hurting me, but that's kind of a long boring story that I've discussed with some of you already. Then I happened to come across this article today about going off antidepressants (or rather, not being able to go off them) and it's kind of interesting, though I can't say it was very uplifting. Feeling sort of damned if I do and damned if I don't. But for what it's worth, it's good to know I'm not the only one who feels or has felt this way.

So, bleh. I haven't even felt like blogging or emailing (but I will!) lately - which sadly enough, is usually one of my more pleasant distractions from life. But if I write, I'd be writing shit like this, and that's no fun. Sorry! I'll try to get the regular old me back soon.