Wednesday, July 26, 2006

The (infamous) First Time

He was a Dutch boy from out of town. Friend of a friend. Front teeth were crooked in an endearing little way that made me think he must've been a thumbsucker. He had a mohawk and it would usually be Punky Color'd bright blue or pink. He was the quiet bass player wearing the Operation Ivy T-shirt and drawing black and white checkers on stuff. He had thick fingers and liked Big Macs. His eyes were sparkly and devoid of concern. A thick, heavy chain around his neck was clasped with a padlock. At some point, he gave me a key to it. I'm only half-ashamed to tell you that I was the one who pursued him. I was seventeen.

There was this urgency to get *it* over with. I had NEEDS, people! Mrrowr! Gimme, gimme, GIMME! Oh but there was more to it than just being pent up with sexual frustration. Like most other milestones in life, I just wanted to do it like it was some rite of passage into coolness. I don't think he could've cared less whether or not he was the one to deflower me, but I was insistent. I was going to be home alone all weekend and this was the big chance.

I had already met his penis, so I wasn't intimidated by that aspect of it. The previous time he had been in my room had ended up in an exhausting 20 minute blowjob in which he laid there lifelessly except for a half-chub then finally said "hey, I think I gotta pee." So yeah, a whole lot of passion right there.

I didn't exactly expect fireworks. I kind of expected it to hurt, but then get better. It was... well, it was something. But not quite what I had expected. I was too nervous to get that turned on, but still thought that I would just be overcome by a feeling of closeness or well, something. Turns out I had just read way too much erotica over the years and got myself way too psyched up about it.

Back to the bedroom. We got naked. The 3-pack of condoms were produced. There wasn't much foreplay, it was more like "Ready? Ok, here goes." Turns out, it wasn't excruciating. Or moan-inspiring. It just was what it was. He slumped over me for a while, I dodged getting hit in the face by the swinging padlock around his neck, we got a little sweaty and it was done. He immediately pulled the condom off and set it on my nightstand. Classy.

We laid there with the lights out for a bit. Moonlight shining in. I thought about what we had done. I finally did it! Yay? It felt like something was missing. The following was probably the stupidest thing he could've said to me, but only because it was preceded by the stupidest thing that I could've said at the time.

Me: (hopefully) "I... love you"
uncomfortable silence, crickets chirping
Him: (exasperated sigh) "Well... you shouldn't"
turn so I can face away from him in pouty silence
Him: "Did you say there was some Dr. Pepper downstairs?"


We stepped outside and smoked our respective cigarettes. It was late. We went back inside and he seemed to be gathering his things like he was going to leave. Again, it just didn't feel right that that was "it". I gave him a pleading look and pulled him by his chain back into bed. "One more time before you go?"

4 minutes later...

Yep, I guess that was it. Huh. I didn't even really break my cherry until my next, better-endowed boyfriend (bless his heart.) Too much info there? Was that mean? Well, fiddlesticks. I don't come out looking too great in this story either. I only had one more experience with the punk boy - in which he had just returned from a Gwar show and got fake blood all over my pillow. Then he disappeared for a while and ended up hooking up with that 15 year old girl that had always liked him but he had always pretended he didn't like her (and I wonder - did she have the other key to his lock? Because I kept mine.) So you know, the typical "first time" story.

Blogger challenge!
I think you should write about your first time, too. It would be cool. Just a suggestion. Not just because I've got a filthy mind, but because I'm curious and nosey! (Well unless it's one of those actually traumatic experiences that you don't want to relive.) Come on now, peeps. We're all friends here, right? Take a seat, have yourself a little drink and tell me all about it.


iamnot said...

Just, um, followed you over from Will's blog. I have to say, you don't seem all THAT nervous.
Entertaining and well written stuff.

Will said...

I'll have to get on this for you. I am wondering how much of the story can be told.

Nervous Girl said...

iamnot - thanks, I had just been looking at your blog too (will's got good taste) but guess I was being too "nervous" (makes quote marks gesture) to say anything. So hi and I like your blog too.

will - you're a good sport. Please don't spare us any of the details.

Mr. Husbland said...

I will do this next time I decide to post. (drunk posting tonight doesn't count)

Loved hearing your story! Made me hate men even more. Although, Dr. Pepper is pretty good.

Beck said...

Do I have to? It'll only take a minute... kinda like the guy. HA.

girlfiend said...

I think Boyfiend would have a nervous breakdown if I wrote about my first time. He's kind of uptight that way. But my first time was just to make someone else jealous. It worked, but not as well as I'd hoped. Sweet, huh.

HemisphereDancer said...

I've yet to sleep with a Dutch boy.

Grafs said...

I would love to partake of this, because mine is somewhat amusing...Okay so I was a senior in high school and I was babysitting my baby brother with my boyfriend (now Bubba the Hubby). We sat there and waited for my brother to fall asleep (which he did, sitting up). We snuck upstairs and started going at it. I remember seeing the size of him and wondering how the hell he was going to fit. It hurt like a MF'r, but then I just got numb or something. He was somewhat of a conquest for me, so it was still a joyous occasion. As a side note, I had lied to him beforehand and told him I wasn't a virgin (hey, I was young). He said he could tell immediately that I was for physical reasons I won't go into. Oh well...

Nervous Girl said...

mr. husbland- I'd love to hear your story. And thank you.

beckalicious- Nice. Yes, you do. That is, if you want to.

girlfiend- Well, dang. That's understandable though.

hemispheredancer - I know you're jealous.

grafs- way to share, my friend. I think I would take this as complimentary to the sizes of each of your genitals, respectively.

Webmiztris said...

lol! loved this post!

" shouldn't" - that is classic...

He sounds like a real "winner" -- but at least he was honest!

I hardly remember my first time. I know it was in my boyfriend's bedroom, but it was so non-outstanding I don't even remember if it hurt or not or WHAT!

NeverEnough said...

Mine was horrible and I would be way too embarrassed - but you HAVE inspired me.

Rootietoot said...

I would write about it, but then my husband would read it and he likes to pretend he's my first.

iamnot said...

This post just shows one of the many reasons I was always careful not to be anyone's first. Who needs that kind of responsibility?
Overall, I'd rather be someone's 5th disapointment than their 1st. I'm just that kind of guy.

FiveFootBagel said...

And I just followed you over from Husbland's blog.
Let's just say we were both 14, it wasn't planned, and afterwards I asked, "Am I still a virgin?"

Anonymous said...

I was 16 and a junior, he was 18 and a senior. We'd been dating for two years. I was on Homecoming Court and although neither one of us was interested in attending the game and the dance, we "had" to go since I had Homecoming "duties."

After the obligations of attending the game, riding the convertible, and doing the formal dance stuff at the high school, he and I left early and went to the Holiday Inn.

And all day long on the radio Rod Stewart was singing: "Tonight's the's gonna be all right...." I was SO excited.

Obviously that was many years ago...but everything about that night was very tender, loving, compassionate, and special. Even after 30 years, I remember him.