I Can't Tell You Why

Hmmm, rejection. Lovely topic with V-day coming up, eh? Let's go back.
There was this guy that I had a... thing with for a little while. It seemed like some good times, but when I look back I wonder if it was only me that had a good time. I thought he was beautiful, and he thought his best friend's girlfriend was beautiful. Only I didn't know it at the time, when I was staying there. We smoked a lot of good dope together and listened to K's Choice, Sublime and The Verve Pipe. I don't remember a whole lot else. There was a time though, that I was riding in the passenger's seat of his car that I got the feeling he wasn't liking me too much anymore. Because I leaned forward to pick something up, and he slammed on the brakes... for no reason other than for me to hit my head on the glovebox. He wasn't the type that was just being funny either. That didn't bode well, but I didn't say anything. Thanksgiving was around that time and I reluctantly went with my mom up north for the weekend. Most of the weekend consisted of me being all giddy with my cousin, telling her how I met this great guy who was so cute and all that.

When I came back, all emotion on his part was gone. He was firm, yet vague about it being over. I gathered up the things I had left there and at the time felt very heartbroken (although I know it seems silly with the short amount of time we were together) at the whole "Hey, so good to see ya!" "Hey, go away" kind of reunion we had. In a lame attempt to win him back or something, I tried to make a move. I don't know, out of desperation I suppose? I remember leaning over him, he was sitting propped up in bed and I tried to kiss him. Bad idea. His hand came up and his fingertips created a shield between my face and his as he gently but firmly pushed me backwards by my face with disgust. Let me tell you, that'll take you down a couple notches. I probably deserved it, especially by karmic standards, but it still hurt (emotionally).

It sucks enough being rejected by someone you built up in your mind but didn't get a chance to know that well. But it also really sucks to be rejected by someone that once looked at you like you were special and then their demeanor changes to one of repulsion. It's hard to believe that that was probably like 8 years ago. Don't worry, I won't spend too much time regurgitating the past here. Still a little "ouch" lingers on, though. And I'm still mad that I never got my Prince hits 3 CD set back because he loaned it to his best friend's girlfriend without my permission! Ah, well - you win some (like my sweetie now), you lose some. Or something.