So Fresh, So Clean

Picking out shampoo, conditioner, bodywash, lotion, etc. has always been important to me. I like smells. Well, good smells. I hate getting stuck with some sickeningly sweet or medicinal smelling product cause then I'll still feel obligated to use it. Problem is, I'm not so good at making decisions. So I've been known to spend ridiculous amounts of time at Target smelling shampoos before making a careful selection. Conveniently, at our Target the video game section isn't far away, so J and I will part ways for a while. Eventually though, he'll come back to find me still standing where he left me, staring and smelling. "So... have you picked one yet?" he'll ask and then before he knows it, he gets pulled into helping make the final decision. "Smell this one, honey - what do you think?" He'll kind of put up his hands in front of him as he takes a step back from me. "I don't wanna smell it" he'll say, shaking his head. "Ohh, come on" I'll say, thrusting the bottle under his nose. "I don't know, I can't really smell it" he'll say, or really that's what he used to say but now he knows better. Because sometimes, I can't quite smell it either and I'll be the dumbass who squeezes the bottle too hard, trying to release the scent and ends up getting splooged in the face. Oh man, that's embarrassing. And there was a time when I shot some shampoo up his nose and before he could jerk his head away. "Ughhh, thanks a lot and no, this does not smell good! I'm gonna be smelling it all night!"
So now, he just humors me and says "Yeah sure, that one's good" or tells me he has lost his ability to smell as he slowly backs away from me, with the shopping cart wedged between us for protection.