Wednesday, January 18, 2006

River of Deceit

There are days that I let it consume me. Like the recurring dream of being chased, but you know that if you try to run your legs won't cooperate. So rather than trying to get away you just lay down and play dead, wait for it to pass.

There are days that I sweep it under the rug. I'll make up my face like any other day and even smile like I imagine a normal person would. There are times like these that if someone asks me sincerely how I really am, I'll burst into tears.

There are days that I fight it. There are days that I don't have to. Sometimes I'll wake up and see things in a different light, and I can't understand why I felt so bad the day before.

9 comments:

Yossarian said...

is this about your period...i dont understand women

Grafs said...

I totally understand how you feel. Sometimes I'll write down how I'm feeling and later feel like someone else wrote it. I'm around if you want to talk :)

Blush said...

i have a sneaking suspicion that when we feel like that, its really just hormones...

Blush said...

haha i just scrolled up and saw yossarians comment...but hes probably right

meredith said...

I really think the birth control pills are fucking with your hormones. I say this because I went through the same thing: birth control pills make pms worse...
Especially if you have a propensity towards depression anyway. My opinion is that most intelligent people do.

Lovely Lisa said...

I understand how you feel totally, but I hate to say it, I am completely in pms mode, right now. I have felt like I just want to cry at spilled milk or because I don't have a good fitting bra clean...I hate it, too. I feel so out of sorts today!

Yossarian said...

so. this is about your period? i was just being an ass. sorry. now i feel bad. but luckily the feeling was short lived. sucks for ya'll pmsing. im going to go stand whilst i pee!

Nervous Girl said...

It wasn't my period, people! I'd probably be more upfront about that. That's okay though. I'll get to explaining...

Leslie said...

that was beautiful. i've felt like that before.