Thursday, September 22, 2005

Boobs can't always be free

I had this idea that perhaps I should carry a spare bra around with me.

I've got plenty in my drawer that aren't getting much use. What can I say? You know, if something's on clearance and well, it's pretty close to my, it'll probably work. Or that's what I tell myself. I don't want to try it on - hell no! It looks like it'll fit, what, should I hold it up to myself and look in the mirror? Eh, fuck it, I'll buy it anyway because it's cute. And then it sits in my drawer and doesn't get worn, or it gets worn once and I either have a bad day of strap-adjusting or boob lifting, or I have trouble breathing, and it gets tossed back in the drawer. So why do I buy bras that might not be my size? Sometimes it's a matter of wishful thinking. I guess now, finally at the age of 27 I should accept the fact that my boobs probably aren't going to keep growing, ya know? I mean, they're a good handful, but my hands are pretty small. The other thing is that even though there are universal charts for measuring your bra size, all manufacturers seem to vary. I personally like the ones that run small, so I can buy the next cup size up, look at the cashier like yeah, that's right!

But anyways, why in the hell would I carry one of these spare uncomfortable bras around with me? Well, simple: there are women out there who desperately need them, and they might as well be put to good use. You know a woman's in a bad way if she's got nips the size of cocktail weenies that are just hanging out under an ill-fitting shirt. The kind that make you sort of grimace and try not to look like it's bothering you. It makes me sad. I don't think it's on purpose. Going bra-less in the summer, wearing a halter top or tank is one thing if you've got small boobs, but this just aint right. And twice at my new job, women have come in asking me for something or other with this problem. This goes along with another story I have about people off the street being drawn to me because I'm a target for the homeless/mentally ill/crackhead type (and as you remember - anyone selling anything). I'm really not the type that doesn't care about these people, and I'm not trying to be insensitive. Other people have told me to NOT give money or anything to these beggars, but since I'm not using these bras anyway... I could at least offer the ladies some uhh... support?


HemisphereDancer said...

You are a woman...

T.H.O. rules.

And I can say that because I've got B Cups of my own...

Nervous Girl said...

HD - don't you know you have to spell things out for me?
I'm a woman?
T.H.O? - what, tits hanging out?
B Cups? oh man, that's hot.

Chicken Little said...

OK I'm guilty of the cocktail-weenie thing, even when I'm wearing a bra. But then again, I usually buy those cheap bras that are jammed in a box, and I take my chances on whether they fit or even if they do the job they're intended to do. so I guess I'm only wearing them for psychological reasons. But yours won't fit me. Mine boobies are HUGE.

Nervous Girl said...

I didn't mean to diss on the big boobied ladies in general, I hope I didn't come off as a bitter small-boobed snob!
I'm sure you take much better care of your breasts than these ladies, chicken!

HemisphereDancer said...


Tittie Hard On

Big boobies, small boobies, it doesn't matter, boobies rule.

Which reminds me of a friend of mine who has such bad luck.

He could fall into a barrel of tits and still come out sucking his own thumb.

Nervous Girl said...

Ha! That's a great "bad luck" quote!

I have to agree that boobies rule.

sweetpotato976 said...

Jess, is that little thing you just typed --


is that a PENIS? If it is, that's pretty durn cool.


Oh, so you know what's awful besides the giant protruding nips? Those women who buy bras that are too small, so their boobs are bulging out of the top of the bra (unflattering under a shirt) and all their back-flab is pushed out (also not flattering under shirts).

So, one other thing -- I have huge nip issues (and boob issues and bra issues, but that's another story), and I actually bought these things from New Zealand called "nipple warmers." They were fur (or faux fur, i hope) and you stuck em to your nips inside your bra so you wouldn't nip out. (At the time I was a teacher with a lot of students who were teenaged boys and my classroom was very cold so I thought that getting rid of the protruding nips was a good idea.)

Anyway, that's that. You are such a funny writer, btw. I love your blog!

Nervous Girl said...

SweetPertaters - wow, I've never heard of nip warmers! I bet the teenage boys wished you hadn't heard of them either!

The Big Cheese said...

After reading this post. I am offically in love with you.

Nervous Girl said...

heh, thanks TBC - I enjoy your blog too. :)

Oh and sweetpotato, yeah I meant that to be a symbol for a boner, maybe this would be better though? <==3

The Reverend Dan said...

Sweetpotato may have lost her greatest opportunity of having young male students actually pay attention in class.

For one, I never tire of hearing women talk about boobs.

Whenever I may think myself mature and above my station, mammaries can bring me back to my lowest level.

It's fascinating how they draw men in. Even the bad, overexposed, tiny or obscenely huge boobs trap a man's eyes. Like a deer in headlights, the eyes cannot avert.

An old woman once leaned over in front of me at a department store and my then-girlfriend caught me looking. It was atrocious, but I couldn't turn away. She saw I was disturbed, and fortunately pitied me.

I assure you, if every woman had a spare bra in her glove box, car insurance would be cheaper for everyone.

Anonymous said...

Enjoyed a lot!
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Anonymous said...

I had my first headhunt in the curikudos job fair held in 2006. And now i think its time to switch over. Can some one let me know when the job fair starts again