Wednesday, August 03, 2005

No Soliciting

Is it just me, or does it really suck when someone's all complimentary to you and making you feel all special, and then it turns out they're just trying to sell you something?

Okay, so sometimes I can be naive. I don't think I'm the only one that's a sucker for a compliment, though. I suppose they see that. It's not that I look like something special or look like I have money, it's that I look like a sucker.
I'm still in the midst of a 3 year magazine subscription to Spin, but be proud of me - I did not buy any imitation designer fragrances today! Even though he was a cute and friendly asian guy who chatted with me for a while. I've mentioned it before, sometimes it's hard to say no , but damn it - I have to stop being such a pushover sometimes. It's not that I don't realize what's happening. It's just thoroughly ingrained in me to be polite and gracious or something.

What really gets me is those Mary Kay ladies. They've got a good act going. Even their cars are now more nondescript so as to sneak up on the consumer. It's just like using some tired old pick-up line, someone's bound to fall for it. They'll sneak up on you when you least expect it, just going about your business. A couple of them were customers at the drycleaners, that's cheap! I have to wait on you and be courteous so it's a perfect opportunity. One MK lady said "Let me get a good look at you" and stared at me long enough to make me a bit uncomfortable, and said "Can I just tell you, hun, that your haircolor goes very nice with your complexion?" So I'm all embarrassed and like "ohh, thank you." Then she tells me I do a nice job with my makeup, and just out of curiosity what kind do I use? You've heard of Mary Kay right? She pulls out her card with the little lipstick bubble sample thing. "You should call me! I want you to be my model at one of our parties. Oh yeah, hun - you've got the face that I want to use." Ughh. That's when the smile just kinda fades away. Oh yeah. A makeover party. Great. Let's call everyone I know so they can see how bad I look before I let this MK lady at my face. Fuck that. But then I feel all bad like I can't say no, so I just have to avoid her the next 5 times she comes by looking for me.

It's just... come on, now. We live in a college town where there's lots of perky college girls who all look the same and have a face like a blank canvas. They're a dime a dozen and are sure to be much better choices. Why do they mess with me? I'm weird looking. Maybe it's out of pity and I look like a good "before" picture. I had another MK girl pull up to the drive thru window and just kept looking me up and down. I thought she was totally checking me out. I was blushing. She was close to my age, and looked normal enough. Cute even. She was all whispery like "ooohh, you've got very pretty eyes" and stepping out of her car to slip me her card. I saw it and I'm like damn, foiled again! Pulling out all the stops, aren't you ladies? No, I don't want to go to your party either.
I'm sure it's nothing to anyone else. It's just that, depending on how insecure I'm feeling that day, it just comes across like a twisted mean joke. I thought I was getting a sincere compliment just for the sake of being nice. But it's more like, let's make that mousy looking girl believe that she's pretty and then tell her the only way to look this good is with our makeup. She'll totally fall for it!
Yeah, I know - I'm too sensitive. Oh, and also cheap.


SayUnderpants said...

Hey, I think I got it - you could solicit them in return! They say, "Oooh, you have great skin! Have you tried Mary Kay Cosmetics?" and you say, "Wow, your skin is a little saggy. Have you tried Botox? Here, take my card and call me to set up an appointment."

Nervous Girl said...

Ha ha - good idea!
I also thought about telling them that my aunt sells mary kay, and she stabbed the last bitch who tried to move in on her turf....

Cty said...

I always use the same excuse on cosmetics salespeople - sensitive skin. Sure, they all have a "sensitive skin" brand, but after claiming to have used it and then describing the rashes and red skin I got from their products, they tend to leave me alone. Of course, in my case, it's true - I have more skin allergies than Mary Kay has salespeople, but it's a pretty sure-fire technique even for those without allergies.

Jim said...

Jessica -- they no longer drive the pink Cadillacs? that was the fun part!

HemisphereDancer said...

Just tell them that you also sell cosmetics, toothpaste, shampoo, razors, etc., but have the power of buying through your organization. Tell them that selling these items has helped make your dreams come true.

Ask them to write down what their dreams are and tell them that if you join the organization and start buying, that they'll be helping YOU achieve your dreams while helping themselves achieve THEIR dreams.

Tell them that if they ask their friends to join the organization, and they can make YOUR dreams come true, THEIR dreams come true and THEIR FRIEND'S dreams come true.

That should suffice.

Lovely Lisa said...

Thanks for checking out my blog, Jessica. I love Ben Folds too!!! I like your honesty, keep up the good work--

Nervous Girl said...

jim - I know! Now they're like red Dodge Intrepid's or something...

cty - very good idea! Sorry you really do have the skin allergies though. I've got sensitive skin & I know sometimes it sucks.

hemispheredancer - yes, if only I had the balls to say that. I do seem like someone who could be pulled into a pyramid scheme though - my dad even did that for a while (not MK - some company that had an assortment of stuff). That's bad when you have to avoid a family member trying to sell you deodorant and air purifiers and stuff!

Lovely Lisa - thanks for coming by. I enjoy your honesty and your blog too!