Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Everybody poops

My sinuses are burning. Get me out of here.
Have you experienced this? Maybe you're lucky enough that your office isn't located right across from the damn bathroom. I understand that when you gotta go, you gotta go, but damnit people! It's like you purposely wait to shit until you get to work! There's a pack of matches on the back of the toilet that someone keeps lighting when they're in there. Great, so then the place smells like shit on fire. I can only hope for some small explosion to occur. Then there's the air freshener. You notice that whatever air freshener is in the bathroom for an extended period of time, no matter how good it smelled at first - after multiple uses it becomes revolting? It's bad enough that the wildebeest craps in there 3 times a day, but if only it were easier to ignore. Even if I keep my office door closed, the smell comes blowing through the air vents. Permeating my lungs, my nostrils, my eyes. I had a perfectly good breakfast bar that I now do not want to eat. I will also note that the air freshener of choice in there is a spray that I swear is a combination of curry, original Listerine, old man aftershave and cloves. And you can just imagine how great that is combined with you know, crap.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

That is always not fun. I have a story that I would like to share. When I was working at Alltel my desk was right by the bafroom. The sales reps would always let customers use the bathroom even though customers could not come back there because of inventory that was back there etc. So this customer comes back there and seriously stays in the bathroom for like 45 minutes... I was begenning to think that this guy died in there but alas he did not but I think that he gave birth to a dead cow or something in there the whole back room of the store was well you could not go back there... totally runied my day. So yeah there is my story.


BER

HemisphereDancer said...

That's just not something one should do at work.

Do you have any suspects?

Nervous Girl said...

hd - I wish I didn't know who the suspect was, but in such a small office it's hard not to know. Maybe I'm mean for complaining - cause it's the lady who had a failed gastric bypass. If she wasn't such a bitch to me, I'd feel sorry for her.

Nervous Girl said...

BER - Ha! Good story.
Maybe you should've pounded on the door and said "Who's in there? Hurry up - Bob's gotta puke!"

Soffy O said...

Recently one of my flatmates got really drunk on red wine and the toilet smelled like red wine puke for what seemed like an eternity, but now I realise that the bad smell was actually the air freshener he used to cover it... no wonder I smell that awful smell so often. (It's called 'Lillies of the valley' - blergh)

mel said...

I sit next to the bathroom too, but unlike you I don't have a door to close. This crowd doesn't seem to understand the nuances of the air*freshener* either, I swear they hold down the nozzle for 10 seconds at a time, fumigating everyone in the area. Plus we're big fans of the all-natural citrus oil kind and my favorite is when there are multiple "flavors" to choose from and after a while it smells like a combination of fruitloops and shit.

Good times.

Lovely Lisa said...

Oh my gosh, Jessica!!! How awful, I think you deserve a raise for having the worst location for your desk. My office is all men and then me, and its so bad they spray room freshener and keep the fan on and the door closed!! Thankfully, my desk is far from the potty. I don't know what I would do otherwise!!!

ceacelia said...

If you think that's bad, I work in a public building so we don't even have an employee only bathroom. It's wet, stinky, and entirely gross. Yuck.

Ian Savage said...

You had me at poop.....I laughed out loud, and i really needed a good laugh. Thanks

michellesarah said...

I just had sour strawberry straps spurting (gee that's alot of s's) at the 'Bob's gotta puke!' comment....

A lady I work with poops in the cleaners cupboard/disabled toilet. She doesn't want people following her in the loo - the cleaners come in at night, so the smell has disappeared by then.