Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Son's Gonna Rise

  • My brother and his girlfriend just welcomed a baby boy into this world. Now I have TWO nephews that I've never met... well, not yet. Meeting this one should be slightly easier than the other, considering this one lives 3 hours away instead of all the way across the world.
  • The boss and his lady are expecting a baby, too. Lots of baby talk going on.
  • Meanwhile, a mom I know is loaning her son the money for his share of his girlfriend's abortion. Everyone involved is mad and throwing the blame around. It was odd to hear her call PP and try to casually ask "Yeah, how much do your abortions cost?" kinda like "can I get a price check over here?" but I bet they are used to those calls and well, probably much worse.
  • I've gotten to the point where I can imagine being pregnant someday and I can imagine having a sweet little baby in my arms. It's actually becoming more of a warm, hopeful feeling more than sheer terror. BUT the thing that scares me is that THEY GROW UP. And I just wouldn't want the kid to turn out like me. I guess that's what a lot of parents want, for their kids not to make the same mistakes they did. Then I'm worried that I'd either be overly sheltering or turn out with a spoiled brat and that I couldn't find the right balance. Or that I couldn't make a good life for my child, they'd resent me for it and we'd all be miserable. What if my maternal instincts didn't kick in and I was a horrible mother? What if my own faults and flaws rub off on the kid, scar them for life? How could I make my kid not as sensitive, nervous or depressed as his/her mother? Whose advice on parenting would I listen to? Or... or what if I can't even have kids at all by the time that it's time to try? Eeek!

4 comments:

Will said...

My mom raised six of us and she was pretty hopped up on goofballs the whole time so I'm sure you can do AT LEAST as well if not better.

Peggasus said...

If you decide to have a child, the fact that you are aware of all these issues testifies that your head is already in the right place. I have a feeling you'd do just fine.

Me, I wasn't so much into the babies as I was into watching them grow and change. Babies don't do much; the cuteness is just so you don't die of boredom. I can honestly say that I have enjoyed every period of my boys' development.

I had my first at 32 1/2 and the other at almost 38. Not without some help, but it turns out I would have had those fertility problems even at 24. Still, that woman who just had one at 59 pisses me off ROYALLY. That is just wrong.

Beck said...

That last bullet... totally sounds like me... too bad I deleted the "I just did some calculations" post on my blog... because you would've gotten a kick out of it. I totally worry about shit I shouldn't... but it sort of helps you be prepared for what MIGHT happen. Kids schmids. Just make sure you have boys because girls are a pain in the ass. (:

Nervous Girl said...

Will - thanks, and props to your moms.

Peggasus - thank you - I'm glad my worries are probably somewhat normal!

Becky - I think I did see that one and hey, that's cool - I'm all about the worries over here! :)