I Do Not Want This

Feeling a bit more energetic today, although I'm also a bit edgy. I don't necessarily like feeling like this. It's like I've got my anger back after it's been subdued for a long time. I'd gone for so long without expressing it that now it just comes out all wrong. I hate it when I'm furiously silent and pouty, when I'm mad I can't look you in the eyes. I find it hard to just let off some steam and not explode. I want to scream and throw things but I don't, I hate it when people do that. Once in a great while, I'll slam a door - I hate it when people do that too, but sometimes I see how that can feel good. I also hate it when people around me know I'm mad and think it's funny that the meek little doormat can have an angry side. I guess I just feel highly sensitive to everything today. Remember that Seinfeld when George tries to get people to leave him alone at work by looking really "busy", which he does by just looking pissed off? But I suppose saying "What the fuck could you possibly want now?" whenever someone comes in or calls would be taking it a little far.

But it'll be okay. At least until I run out of pretzels to snack on.