Thursday, January 26, 2006

Eternal Flame

So, I don't know if I've mentioned it recently or I've just been thinking about it. Thinking, thinking, thinking about it. It's been like over a month since I've had a cigarette. I can't believe it, folks. I know it's a good thing for me, but I can't say I don't feel like something's missing sometimes. Like when I get in my car, or after a meal, or when it would be breaktime at work, it's kind of like "Hmm, I used to do something... oh right, I can't. That sucks."
I didn't exactly understand what my boyfriend meant after he quit when he said he had dreams/fantasies about smoking. Well now I've experienced it. Like the other morning. You know, I had a bad morning. But even if I didn't, the feeling still pops up. This little voice says "heyyy, there's still a stale Marlboro Light in your car somewhere... come on, no one would know, it'd just be our little secret." Then I start imagining it, feeling it between my lips, lighting it up, craving that familiar burn... and I have to admit it feels so naughty that I get a little sexually excited just thinking that I could, but I don't. And I didn't. Yay.
I could possibly use some good distractions though. I've been eating too much and I hate it, I've never weighed this much. Not cool.
So yeah, in response to that email from a while back - sure, send those cock pictures my way...

(Giggle giggle.)

8 comments:

AnonymousCoworker said...

It gets easier after a few months. I must have chewed on about a thousand coffee straws.

Blush said...

the dreams just mean you were mentally addicted...i had them with speed...they will cease and all will be well

Nervous Girl said...

ACW - Thanks, I hope so!

Blush - Yeah, I do tend to have more trouble with mental addiction than physical. Damn addictive brain!

Anonymous said...

speed was a very fun thing to have to quit.

-Ray

---- said...

Feck...don't even get me started with the cigarettes...I'm *still* having major issues, and I've been trying to quit since November....

BLEH!

FnQueen said...

I quit smoking for both my pregnancies.
I started back after each one, I cuss myself everyday for going back. Now I want to quit, but everytime I eat or have a beer I think damn I'm gonna miss this.
I congratulate you for not giving in to temptation!

kitty said...

I quit smoking years ago.... then I smoked in my dreams for several years after that - sometimes I'd even wake up feeling like I had been smoking all night - ya know that yucky head, it feels like I was chewing on dirty socks all night feeling? haaaa

I actually just noticed in the last year or two that I no longer smoke in my dreams

keep it up!! I don't know how many times in the years since I quit that I've actually said to myself 'I'M SO GLAD I DON'T SMOKE ANYMORE'

plus trust me.... smoking again will NOT take off those extra pounds.... you'll have to get rid of them the hard way EVEN if you start smoking again!! so it's REALLY not worth it!!! hehehe

BrianAlt said...

Excellent! Keep it up!

Oh, and I think I've fixed by blog! With an entire housecleaning... :(