Forgive me, folks. I'm a bit tired this morning.
So last night. Woke up to people being loud and obnoxious in the parking lot. This happens all the time. Yes, it sucks living in an apartment and we need to move. But we're pretty much used to it and always sleep with a fan on anyway, which usually drowns out the noise. I wonder why the fan isn't on. Fuck. The power's out. It's extremely stuffy in the apartment anyway, and now no air is moving. Great. Now I can't sleep.
I can deal with the heat, but now the only noise is these getto-ass people talking so loud that it's echoing off the buildings. It's a fucking free-for-all out there, it's 2:30 in the morning and all I hear is incoherent drunken ramblings and laughing. I'm assuming these people couldn't sleep and came to the conclusion that they should drink any alcohol that might still be cold. In the parking lot. Naturally. I hear someone say the power has been out for two hours already. I call the energy company and report it to an automated system that tells me there is no power outage. I look out and sure enough, it's pitch black all around - even the streetlights are out. But someone has their headlights on so the people hanging out in front of the handicapped entrance can see. It's a getting to know each other session out there. Someone starts lighting bottle rockets (what's that - a distress call?) That's great. That really helps the situation. I'm thinking please don't let me hear anyone "hooking up" - guhhhh!
Then the best part is when our neighbor across the hall gets home at 3AM. She's got a very loud voice anyway and half the time she's yelling "Praise Jesus!" and the like, then the other half she's cussing someone out and slamming things around. So she gets home and her voice probably carries for miles around "We ain't got no powah? What kinda shit is that? Aww, hell naw! I can't even use my cordless phone? What the fuck? Mmmm hmm, that 's what I'm sayin - this is the muthafuckin suburban-ass projects right here"
Yes lady. It's the not having power that makes this the "suburban-ass projects." Not the fact that you and these other losers are out here yelling at 3 in the morning cause you don't have to work.
But anyways. Eventually we fell asleep and fortunately still woke up relatively on time, seeing as how the power is still out at this point. The energy company "estimates" that it will be back on this afternoon. When I left for work this morning, I felt like yelling "Enjoy sleeping in you fuckers! Thanks for keeping me up last night. I have to go to work now!" But whatever. I just slammed the door really hard. Next time I should call the cops, but I'm always reluctant to do that. If I had thought of it, we do have four boxes of pop-its (also called whipper-snappers) that we could've thrown out there last night or even better, this morning. Damn.