Shampoozled

As I am often known to do, I was sniffing around at Target for a new shampoo the other day. Something I've noticed in the shampoo market is that descriptions of what hair type each shampoo is intended for have become quite specific and, almost insulting at times. For example, what was once a shampoo for "normal to dry hair" has become "for dry, brittle, damaged, over-processed, color-treated hair." Is your hair moderately dry? Not good enough to qualify, folks. Because honestly people, you cannot be ready for the help these products will give you until your hair has reached rock bottom and is desperate for change. You better have hair with some serious lack of moisture ISSUES. We're talking parched, dehydrated, crunchy, chalky, burnt spaghetti-like, turns to dust in your hands, been through the desert on a horse with no name, dry-ass MF'in hair! The products will claim ways of forcibly keeping that moisture in your hair (Intensive therapy! Shampoo contains more than 50% real unsalted butter!) and bringing it back to LIFE! Hoorah!

So, the shampoo I ended up selecting was for adding volume to fine hair but actually it had to be all high and mighty about it by saying it was "for fine, dull, limp, lifeless hair". So basically - hair that is really just some sort of pathetic excuse for hair. Bland, miserable, lame, flaccid, sickly, cobwebby, nearly nonexistent, thin like a babies' but not in a good way, why even bother having hair - kind of hair. And I foolishly thought my hair just needed a little added bounce. Glad to know where I stand in the haircare world.