Different but kinda the same

Sorry for the lack of updates again. Spent yesterday lying on the couch trying to ease the pressure on my head and fighting the related nausea (pre-menstrual migraines are a bitch), watching some awful reality show marathon (Bad Girls Club), napping and snuggling with the cat when he'd allow it (he's gotta be in the right mood and it has to be his idea - cats, I tell ya). Okay, so that's not really a decent excuse. I just didn't feel like writing I guess.

The little get-together with my friends from school went fine. It ended up just being myself and 2 other girls so it wasn't really a ton of pressure. I mean, it wouldn't be for the average person, but being Nervous Girl and all - I felt a bit awkward about it. I felt like I didn't have a whole lot to share or a whole lot that I wanted to share. They are both getting married this year and due to my own indecision, my wedding date is up in the air. Not that it's a bad thing. But listening to all their wedding plans got me a bit stressed out. No one tried to make me feel bad or anything, I just felt a little bad, so I was kind of quiet. You know, one of those conversations where you go around the table and everyone shares what wonderful things they have planned and when it gets to me I just shrug. Part of it is that I don't really have the budget and/or connections that they do, and part of it is that I just don't care so much about putting up this front of fakeness and trying to impress people so much these days. I've always been a little "different" so I imagine my wedding will be a little "different" too, but it'll be sweet in it's own way. *Shrugs*

The thing with the upcoming high-school reunion is that it's been made to sound like it's by invitation only, and only if you're cool enough. Maybe that's just the source I'm getting it from though. I'm still in the same town that I graduated in, so it seems sort of odd that the people organizing this have had a hard time tracking down people such as myself. I'm not really interested in jumping through hoops to get invited to something that I'm not even that interested in attending, so I don't know if I'll bother. One of the girls I met with was like "oh, you can probably go... I'm going but... you know... it might be past the deadline anyway." This brought back the old feelings of being in high-school so much that I started feeling like putting on some flannel and cords, listening to NIN (ok, technically I still do - the new album is actually really good), writing bad poetry and telling everyone to fuck off. Good times, good times.

In other news of friends that come and go, I also found out last weekend that my one local female friend who I consider to be a "real" friend has decided to move to Philly in a couple weeks. This saddens me greatly, but I can't blame her for wanting to try something new, and to get out of Michigan. At least she'd still hopefully come back to visit since there's family and friends here, so we'll see.

You're gone from here
Soon you will disappear
Fading into beautiful light
'cause everybody's changing
And I don't feel right.

So little time
Try to understand that I'm
Trying to make a move just to stay in the game
I try to stay awake and remember my name
But everybody's changing
And I don't feel the same.
- Keane