So now what?

Alright. So Christmas has come and gone and of course it wasn't altogether bad. In some respects I'm relieved to have it over, but then again feel a bit sad that it passed in such a blur. We (J and I) both think it may have been more fun with some little chitlins running around, but then again more stressful too. But despite my "family crisis" shit, I was selfishly dealing with my own shit too and for that, I feel bad. Well, I mean I feel bad that I was in one of those moods where I will answer politely enough when spoken to but can't keep up a prolonged conversation, I wanted to smile but it felt unnatural for my face to cooperate, and none of the usual spirit-lifters had the same effect that I needed to be a good hostess. There are usually about 2 days a month where I am at my utmost worst, and these happened to begin right on Christmas. Not good. I also neglected to make getting certain important med refills of the utmost importance before the holidays. Now due to the idiocy not only on my part but on that of the pharmacy and then of the doctor's office, I am on day 2 without these stupid drugs in my system, knowing that day 3 is usually my breaking point for an uncontrolled crying freakout. It's awful timing. But like I said, it's my fault anyway and I'll get it taken care of.
As usual, my sweet fiance pulled off a fantastic meal for his parents, my mom and us. I could go on about how much he means to me, how he keeps me going when times are rough like this, and how I just love him so much that I can feel the tears welling up... but it would probably be a little nauseating for the rest of you. So we'll just say I'm glad that I had him there with me through this. I'll try to give a better recap of the holidays another time. I wanted it to be half-funny, half-complaining, but I'm going to just sound complainy if I do it now. You know how it is.