Fourth Grade Foibles

Part One of A Few

So, fourth grade was pretty sweet. I mean, looking back I had a bunch of fucked up family shit going on and all that BUT I was also in public school instead of Catholic so I didn't have to wear uniforms, which I thought was the shiz at the time. (I actually transferred over in 3rd grade, but I don't remember much of note during that year.) And I could wear EARRINGS, well - I'd hide the really dangly ones that my mom didn't like and then put them on once I got to school. It was a really nice elementary school and I was happy there. Plus the school had the COOLEST playground, and we were even allowed to go about 3.5 feet into the adjacent woods and make forts. Forts! Awesome.

So, I never really went through that "boys are icky" stage. Or I did, but that didn't stop me from chasing them. There was this boy that I thought was cute. His name was Kaylan or some crap like that. He had bronze skin and an oblong head and I don't remember much about him but he was popular. I liked him, and then my friend decided she liked him too, and she'd go ask him who he liked. He was all "Well, why don't I go out with both of you and see who I like better?" What a pimp. I inevitably lost, though neither of us actually "went out" anywhere with him. My friend snarkily announced that she had been chosen while we were on the playground, maybe a day or two later. I went off to the woods area and was feeling half-sad and defeated. This nice boy Keith came up and after hearing about it, said
"Well, I woulda picked you"
(sniffle) "You... you would?"
Then his friend Brandon came up.
"Yeah, I woulda gone out with you too."
(beaming)"You... really?"
They look at each other, and back at me.
(light bulb goes on) "Well, I've got an idea, boys - how bout I go out with both of you and see who I like better?"